


My Mentor (part 2)

by writersunblock



Series: My Mentor (Parts 1 and 2)/Within The Lyrics [2]
Category: One Direction
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-28
Updated: 2015-08-28
Packaged: 2018-04-17 15:08:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 31,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4671248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writersunblock/pseuds/writersunblock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My Mentor (Part 2)   You'll need to read part one for this to make sense!</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Mentor (part 2)

**Author's Note:**

> ....and for some reason......AO3 wouldn't let me post the whole story in one go...so I've had to break it up into two parts. You'll need to read part one before reading this part. Thanks!!

I fall to the ground. The room is spinning and I feel like I can’t breathe. Paul is by my side in a matter of moments. I wrap my arms around my knees that were pressed tightly to my chest. I start rocking back and forth.

“He…he was there. At the premiere. He touched me, Paul. He held onto my wrist. What are we going to do? Please don’t let him get to me. Please keep him away.” I am seriously freaked out right now. He was able to get into the crowds and close enough so that he could touch me. I knew there was something different about the way that ‘fan’, or so I thought, touched me. I knew it felt weird. 

Paul pulled out his wallet and then pulled a card from it. He took out his phone and began to make a call. 

“Yes, is this Captain Brooks……Captain Brooks this is Paul Higgins. We met a few weeks ago regarding Niall Horan and James Cromwell……..yes, X-Factor. It seems as if we have a situation. Yes, we believe he has been in contact with him…….yes the address to my location is 6354 West Ridge Road….thank you.” He ended the call.

“Niall, let’s get you back in bed. Captain Brooks will be here in about a half hour. I’m going to call Richard and have him meet us here as well.” He helped me up to my feet and led me back to my room. I lay back down and buried my head into my pillow.

“Harry….I want Harry….please get me Harry.” I was muttering and Paul was looking at me strangely. I really just wanted Harry right now.

“What?”

“Harry knows all about this and knows about Jamie. I would really just like to talk to him. Do you think you can get him over here, please?”

“He is busy with rehearsals right now”

“He’ll come. Just please tell him that Jamie is back. He’ll come.” I pull the blankets over my head. 

A half hour later Captain Brooks, Paul and Richard were in my room looking over the letters and deciding what the police would do. Captain Brooks was suggesting how they could beef up security around me until they brought Jamie in for breaking the restraining order. They would, however, have to confirm that it was in fact him. This would consist of looking over the footage from the premiere to see if they could find him in the crowds. I told him about where I was when the person, possibly Jamie, grabbed my wrist. They would also get a search warrant for Jamie’s flat. Once there was proof that he in fact was the one sending letters and attended the premiere, they could arrest him for breaking the restraining order and also charge him with criminal stalking.

“Niall….Niall” We hear being yelled from downstairs. Captain Brooks and Paul stand quickly and block the door to my room. I see Captain Brooks with his hand placed on top of his gun, like any police officer would do when faced with a possible threat. I hear footsteps making their way hastily up the stairs.

“It’s Harry” I tell them and then his face appears down the hall. Paul and Captain Brooks step aside and I am in Harry’s arms a second later.

Harry kept his arms around me tightly while I told him the story of the letters and the person grabbing my arm at the premiere. 

Ten minutes later, Paul and Captain Brooks were in the corner of the room discussing security. Richard sat on the bed across from mine. Harry, with his arms still wrapped around me, had his lips pressed to the upper right side of my head, just above my ear. I could feel his comforting breaths as he softly whispered that I would be ok and that Jamie wouldn’t get near me again and that he was glad I was safe and in his arms and finally, that he loved me. My eyes were closed the entire time; enjoying the warmth and comfort from my boyfriend.

“Paul, Captain Brooks….would you mind leaving the three of us to discuss some things. I am sure you can have some privacy to discuss security plans in the production room downstairs. You know where it is Paul, correct?” Richard spoke which caused me to open my eyes and look at him. He wasn’t even taking his eyes off Harry and I while he was speaking and Harry didn’t release me from his arms either. We were obviously caught so why pull away from each other?

Paul nodded and he and the Captain left the room. Richard stood from the bed and shut the door. He walked back over to his original seat on Zayn’s mattress and met our gaze.

“Please explain.” Two words. That is all he spoke but we certainly understood what he was referencing. 

“We’re dating and we love each other, very much.” Harry stated without removing his arms from my body.

“I gathered that much. When did this start? How did this start?”

Harry and I both sat up right and removed our grip on each other. We came clean, for the most part. We told him that we became friends after judges’ houses and after the incident with Jamie, we began dating. We didn’t give away any of our sneaking around secrets because we still wanted to be able to do that. Rich, as he preferred to be called, being the producer that went with me to the police head quarters when I first arrived in London, was again being very considerate of the entire situation. But even he would have some reservations regarding this.

“I understand that you can’t help who you fall for but this seriously can’t get out. We already had some suspicion about you, Harry and the way you would look at Niall and the obvious ‘babe’ comment peaked our interests. To be honest, the story about you, Niall, dating Louis and the source they spoke of in the paper came from the producers. I was in on the meeting on Saturday when it was decided that we would tell the papers that the two of you were dating. Not that I went along with it because I don’t like to be involved in gossip but you both can surely understand that the two of you dating is highly prohibited.”

“I’m not bothered by the story about me dating Louis.” I started to say. “We had quite the laugh regarding it. It honestly doesn’t bother us and if that is a rumor that needs to continue, I am sure that Louis, myself and Harry won’t care. I won’t speak publically about it and I will not confirm it or go on dates with him or whatever but I understand that you all had to do what you needed to protect the show. I love Harry very much and I am willing to keep this a secret until it is ok to come out to the public.” I finished and Harry nodded his head, showing Rich that he agreed with my statement.

He stayed quiet for a few minutes and finally took a deep breath and exhaled heavily. “I will keep your relationship a secret and will not inform the others.” We smiled at him but he held his hand up, motioning for us to hold the excitement.

“Harry, you management and the producers met yesterday and decided that they want to make sure there is no further speculation and they were pleased with the publicity your date with Cara garnered at the premiere. So they will be advising you, probably tomorrow, that you will be going out with her again. I just want to give you a heads up.”

“I don’t want to go out with her.” Harry firmly stated. “I won’t do that to Niall”

“You really don’t have much of an option Harry. I don’t know what repercussions they would have for you if you don’t go out with her. You will need to discuss it with them. I certainly don’t like ordering someone to date someone for publicity so I stayed out of it but I’m afraid it has to happen. I’m sorry. I’ll let you two speak. Niall, I hope you feel better. Harry, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Rich stood from the bed and left us to ourselves.

I lay back on the bed and Harry was finally able to lie next to me. I cuddled up into his chest.

“I don’t really want you going out on dates with her, babe but I think it has to be done.” I sadly stated.

“I’m not going to do it.” He huffed.

“Harry, you have to. It’s the only way that the show producers won’t look further into your supposed feelings for me. It will keep them off our backs.”

“I’ll feel guilty being out with her, Ni.”

“Why feel guilty when I know about it. I’ll know every date, each meeting and whatever. But I do absolutely forbid you from kissing her on the lips.” I chuckled. He smiled.

“Fine. I’ll agree to seeing her again.” He said sounding slightly annoyed.

“This is for us, babe. This is so we can stay together. But no Thursday night dates with her ok? That’s still for us.”

“Agreed.” He lowered his face so his lips would meet mine. We stayed like that for a few minutes; kissing, touching and getting our fill of one another. We knew that I wouldn’t be able to go to his house tonight. 

“I have to get back to the studio, babe. I hate to leave you alone, especially being sick and having that psycho lurking around.” He placed his head on mine.

“Don’t worry. I’m starting to feel a little better and Paul or one of his security guys will be with me all the time until this is resolved, I’m sure. I’ll call you before I go to bed, ok?”

“Ok. I love you.” He placed another kiss on my lips. “I love you too” Another kiss and he left the room. I fell asleep soon after, finally feeling safe.

I was back at the rehearsals by Friday afternoon. I told Liam and Zayn about what happened yesterday. They were shocked that Jamie could possibly be stalking me but knew not to put it past him. I also told them about Rich finding out about Harry and me. I felt bad keeping this all a secret from Ryan but the less people who knew the better. The only reason why Liam and Zayn knew was because they walked in on me and Harry kissing.

I was feeling better and my voice was sounding good. I was still not at one hundred percent but I was close. I would only hope that by tomorrow night, I would be ready to give the best vocal performance that I could.

When I arrived at Wembley on Saturday I was pulled away from the rest and brought into a meeting. Rich, Captain Brooks, another police officer and Harry were all in there. Harry and I maintained our distance. We all took our seats and Captain Brooks began.

“We’ve reviewed tapes from the premiere and we did find a two second clip of James in the crowd. Right about in the same location that you said you had that weird feeling when a person touched you. We couldn’t see the touch but we did get a clear shot of his face. We obtained a warrant and when we went to search his flat, it was pretty much cleaned out, all but a wall covered with pictures of you. Some were pictures of the two of you together, some by yourself and some as recently as the beginning of the week. There was even a picture of you getting into the van outside the house.” That information sent shivers down my spine. I quickly looked at Harry and saw his hands balled into fists. I tried to give him a comforting smile but it wasn’t working.

“He obviously is in violation of the restraining order and we can definitely arrest him for that and criminal stalking and now trespassing for being on the house property to take pictures of you.”

“Ok. I am guessing that you haven’t found him yet. So what will we do tonight? I know him and I have a feeling that he may show up here tonight. He wants me back and he will continue to do what he feels necessary to be with me. Jamie is and has always been very possessive and I still belong to him in his eyes. I know he just really needs help. As many bad things he did to me when we were dating, stocking wasn’t one of them.”

“Don’t worry Niall. We have more security and plain clothed police officers that will be present and when you aren’t on stage, Paul will be next you and will not leave your side.” Captain Brooks stated. I nodded. I was still nervous about it all but I trusted that nothing would happen to me.

After the meeting I stayed in the room to call my parents and give them an update. I have been letting them know everything that is going on, minus the Harry and me dating. They are worried about the Jamie situation and that he is stalking me but I assure them that I will be fine.

The show has gone off without a hitch. My voice was where it was supposed to be and I was happy. All of the contestants were off doing follow up interviews with the camera crews like every Saturday night. I was doing mine and Paul was about five feet away. Once I was finished, I informed Paul that I had to go to the toilet. 

Now this is not one of those horror movies where I told Paul that I will be fine to go by myself. I am not an idiot. I went to the restroom and Paul stood outside the door the entire time. When I was finished with my business, we began to walk down the corridor and were met with Harry and Lou along the way. 

Harry hugged me and congratulated me on my performance, as did Lou. Like always, Harry and I had to keep it friendly because Paul had no idea about our dating, but I think he may suspect something but is keeping it to himself. 

Paul and Harry were in a conversation off to the side while Louis and I were speaking about something random. I hugged Louis again after he had said something funny. Over his shoulder I saw him. There he was. His sad eyes looking at me. He was holding a large bouquet of flowers at his side. It looked as though someone had just ripped out his heart. Then I realized the reason for that look; it was me hugging Louis.

I pulled away and just stared at him. No words, just staring. I then felt arms jerk me back. Paul and Harry were in front of me.

Jamie started to walk closer. Paul got on his radio and called for backup. It would take them a few minutes to get here because we were in one of the back hallways.

“Niall, baby” Jamie said. It was the voice of the sweet Jamie and strangely enough I wasn’t scared or worried that he might do something. There was no hate in his eyes like I have seen in the past. I still was cautious and I did step around Paul and Harry. Harry grabbed my arm.

“I’m fine.” I said and pulled my arm away.

“You did amazing tonight, baby. I got these for you.” He held out the flowers. I couldn’t help but to smile slightly at him. He smiled in return. He was still walking towards us.

“Stay right there. Not a step closer.” Paul ordered. Jamie stopped. He was about fifteen feet away.

“You know what’s funny, babe?” He asked me and I could see Harry tensing each time he called me babe or baby.

“What’s that Jamie?” I asked softly. His eyes lit up.

“I have been waiting to hear you say my name again.” He smiled and then continued. “What’s funny is that song you sang. I have been listening to it nonstop since you left me.”

“You forced me to leave Jamie. You were possessive and mean and jealous and worst of all, you hit me. Continually. I couldn’t stay in a relationship like that.” I stated calmly and I could see the police walking up behind him slowly and quietly. I continued talking.

“Jamie, we could have been happy together. I did love you once. I loved the sweet, caring Jamie but that’s not all I got. You have problems with anger and you really need help.”

“I’ll change, Niall. I just want you back, baby. I love you so much and I’ll do anything. You belong with me. You’re mine, Niall. You always have been.” He inched his foot forward.

“James Cromwell. Stay where you are. You are under arrest.” One of the police officer said from behind him. He turned to look at the officers approaching him and then looked back at me with tears running down his face. I knew I shouldn’t but I felt bad. I turned to look at Paul and then glanced at Harry. I began to walk forward. Harry grabbed my arm. I gave him a look and he immediately let go.

“I wouldn’t advise this, Niall” Paul stated. “I’ll be fine” I walked closer to him. I took the flowers from his hands and he looked up into my eyes. I brushed the tears from his face and wrapped my arms around his neck. He immediately brought his arms up and held around my waist tightly. He buried his head into my neck. His lips pressed in the spot that he obviously knows causes me pleasure but it didn’t this time.

“I’ve moved on Jamie. You need to do the same thing.” I whispered into his ear.

“I can’t Niall. You’re mine, baby. You have always been mine and I am yours, only yours.”

“I’m not yours Jamie and you are no longer mine. You need to let me go.” I see the police getting closer. Jamie lifts his head up to look me into the eyes. His hands are holding onto my waist. I have brought my hands down to rest on his arms; the flowers were gently placed on the ground next to us.

“I guess I’m going to jail for a while, huh?” 

“Well yeah, Jamie. Stalking is illegal, or didn’t you know.” I smirked and he smiled. Before I could react, his lips were on mine. He pulled my body in closer. I pushed on his arms to get his lips off of mine and he pulled away.

“Maybe we can be together again, someday.” He stated with hope in his eyes.

“I’m sorry Jamie but that won’t be possible. The hurt you caused will prevent us from ever getting back together. I will fondly remember the good times though. And maybe after you get some help, you will find someone else to give your love to. I know you have goodness in you, Jamie and it would be a shame to not share it with someone else.” 

“I’ll miss you, Niall. But at least I got to feel your lips on mine and hold you one last time. I love you.” He leaned his forehead on mine and I smiled at him.

“Go do your time, get better and go find the boy of your dreams. And treat him right, Jamie or I’ll come stalking you.” We both softly laughed. We hugged once more for a few moments and then he placed another quick kiss on my lips. It was too chaste for me to even push him away. 

“I’m sorry, Ni.” He said with honesty in his voice.

“I forgive you, babe.” I replied and he brushed his hand across my cheek.

“Goodbye, Jamie”

“Goodbye, Niall.” He turned around and walked over to the police that were waiting with handcuffs. He surrendered without incident. I picked up the flowers and watched as Jamie was led away. He turned to look at me once more and winked. I shook my head and smiled.

 

Relief was what I was feeling. Relief that everything with Jamie was completely over. Relief that last night I was voted through for another week. Finally, relief that my sickness has been lifted from my body and I was feeling much better.

Sadness also plagued me. Sadness for Jamie and the demons he has to fight to get better. Sadness for Ryan since he received the lowest votes and was sent home. Finally, sadness for Harry and my relationship because he hasn’t acknowledged me since Saturday night. 

After the incident with Jamie, Louis was able to distract people so that Harry and I could have a few minutes alone. We found ourselves standing in some small supply closet type thing and he held me closely. He pulled away and looked into my eyes. I leaned up to place my lips on his but he turned away.

I asked him what was wrong and asked why he turned away from my kiss. He was silent for a while and when I asked him again he removed himself from my arms. He finally began speaking and I couldn’t believe what he was saying. He was actually angry at me. He was upset that Jamie was calling me babe and baby. He was upset that I pulled away from him to go talk to Jamie. He was very upset that I was holding Jamie and wiped tears from his face and he was pissed that Jamie kissed me. Twice.

I tried to explain to him that it was the closure and goodbye that I needed and regardless of what Jamie did to me, there were parts of him that I still cared for and wanted the best for him. I tried to convince him that when Jamie kissed me, I felt nothing nor did I even move my lips against his and I pushed him away from my lips. Harry just wasn’t having it. He wouldn’t listen and he was just getting more and more upset with me each second that passed and with each explanation that I gave.

I decided it was best to stop the conversation and give him time or whatever he needed to cool down and try to see things from my perspective. I said goodbye and I left him standing in the closet. I passed Louis on the way, hugged him and said that his best friend needed him. He could tell something was wrong from my facial expression and didn’t hesitate to join Harry in the room.

It is a somber mood in our room this morning. Zayn, Liam and I are moping around a bit. Ryan leaving was a shock to us and we all shed a few tears as we hugged him goodbye. Right after I completed my video diary, which I am sure the fans will be able to tell I was very much upset, I went back into our room and curled up into a ball in my bed.

The boys knew I had a rough few days. I told them about what happened with Jamie but I left out the part where Harry is upset with me. Did I really do something wrong? Was it wrong for me to want the closer I was seeking? Was it wrong for me to hug the man that I once loved? The man who was my first boyfriend. The man who was my first time. Was it wrong for me to provide Jamie with some comfort before being sent to jail? I did not kiss him. He kissed me and I pulled away the first time and the second kiss was too quick for me to begin to pull away but I would have pulled away from that one too.

I brushed my fingers across my lips. The last kiss that was placed on them was from Jamie and it shouldn’t be that way. I want Harry’s lips on mine. I want the memory of Harry’s lips grazing and pressing onto mine; not Jamie’s. I’ll have to face him in just over an hour and all that I will be thinking is about his lips. How will I even be able to concentrate while talking with him about picking a song? 

“C’mon Ni. We have to get ready” Zayn said as he lightly shook my thigh. I nodded and sat up in bed. I stood up and stretched and turned to face the empty top bunk. It was depressing.

“Liam, Zayn those are great choices! Niall, I don’t really care for your choice but you can do what you want.” Harry stated and my stomach dropped. It is Elton John week and we were at the studio going over the song each of chose. I saw Louis out of the corner of my eye mouthing an apology to me but I shrugged my shoulders.

“Savaan has returned and you’ll be working with him, like usual. I’ll be checking your progress throughout the week during your rehearsals. I know we are all sad about Ryan but he wouldn’t want you to be sad. He would want you to do your best to remain in this competition, so do that for him. Sing this week for him, yeah?” We all nodded. Our time was up with Harry and we were going back over to Wembley.

Harry turned his chair to the mixing boards as we were walking out of the room. “Bye Harry” I said softly but he ignored me. I dropped my head and just as I was shutting the door behind me. I heard Louis yell Harry’s name and then I heard what sounded like a slap, likely to the back of the head, and then Harry cursing and yelling at Lou asking why he did that.

On Tuesday at rehearsals, Harry showed up. He praised Liam and Zayn for the great job they were doing but was very critical of my performance.

“The song’s not working” He stated bluntly.

“Ok. What would make it better?” I asked.

“A new song” He said with slight attitude.

“Hey, Niall…I um need to borrow you for a moment. Style stuff” Louis smiled and grabbed me by the arm and pulled me away. As soon as we were alone and off in a corner of the stadium, hidden from everyone else, Louis pulled me into his chest and held me tight. I began to silently cry.

“I just don’t understand why he is doing this” I said through deep breaths. Louis pulled me to the ground with him so that we could sit. His arms were still tightly wrapped around me and I was now tucked into the crook of his neck.

“He is just upset Ni. He’ll get over it soon. I told him how wrong he is being. I know he will eventually see it too. Don’t give up on him.” Louis calmly said and placed a kiss to my forehead.

“I would never give up on him. I love him so much and I know he was hurt by Jamie and my interaction with each other on Saturday night, but I needed closure. I needed things to be ok before he was sent to jail for however long. I needed him to know that I forgive him for what he did that way he could move on and get help and become a better person. Why doesn’t he understand that?”

“I’m sorry, Niall. I don’t know. But it will all be ok. Everything will work out. I promise.” He leaned his head on my hair and kissed the top of my head. I wiped the remaining tears away but stayed in his embrace. Not wanting to face anything just yet. 

“Well isn’t that nice.” Louis and I snapped our heads up to where the voice was coming from. Harry was standing a few feet away with his arms crossed across his chest.

“It is nice. I love spending quality time with my Niall” Louis stated with sass in his voice and kissed my head once more. I smiled on the inside.

“Niall you need to get back out there and rehearse.” Harry all but demanded. Louis helped me to my feet and I pulled him in for a hug. I kissed his cheek and thanked him. I walked by Harry and brushed my arm against his as I did, not saying a word and not looking back.

Harry didn’t show up to rehearsals on Wednesday and if I’m being honest, I was kind of glad. I did choose a different song because Harry does know music and if he says the song isn’t working, then it isn’t working and I should take his advise no matter how harshly it is given.

I have texted Harry a few times but all have yet to be returned. I’m actually surprised by how big of a baby he is being right now. It’s rather comical. But I’ll be here waiting for him, ready to shower him with kisses when he decides not to be angry any more.

“…..and I need to tell ya, how you light every second of the day. But in the moon light, you shine just like a beacon on the bay. And I can’t explain, but there’s something about the way you look tonight. Takes my breath away. It’s the feeling I get about you deep inside. And I can’t describe, but there’s something about the way you look tonight. Takes my breath away. The way you look tonight.” 

“That was really great, Niall” Savaan called to me on stage.

“Thanks” I stepped down and went for a bottle of water. I took a swig and noticed Lou walking in. I waved and then glanced around for Harry.

“He’s not here” Louis said as he got closer.

“Oh” I replied and took another drink.

“I just came to pick up a few things for Harry from wardrobe. You know he has to go on a date with Cara tonight.” He said like it was no big deal. And it wouldn’t be but I didn’t know about it. He didn’t tell me. My lips pursed and I took a deep breath in through my nose and then released it. I repeated.

“He didn’t tell you, did he?” Louis asked but I’m sure he already knew the answer. He placed his hand on my shoulder.

“It’ll be fine, Ni. Don’t worry.”

“Yeah Lou, you keep saying that but he isn’t returning my texts and he didn’t tell me he was going out with her tonight. That was the deal. I was to know of all dates and meetings. I’m fine with him having to go out with her to keep our relationship hidden but he is just being a stubborn twat right now.”

“I know. But you still have tomorrow night. Maybe you will make up then”

“If he still wants to see me.” I huffed.

“It will be Thursday night. Niall and Harry night. Of course he will want you there.” He said trying to comfort me. I half smiled.

“Well, I have to get going but I will pick you up same time, same place tomorrow night. Have fun at the signing tonight. Don’t get too many hand cramps, I’m sure you’ll have to use your hands tomorrow night” He laughed

“Louis!” I whisper yelled at him and hit him on the chest. He pulled me in for a hug and I tucked my head into the crook of his neck.

“Thanks Louis. You’ve really been so great in all of this. I appreciate it.” I whispered before pulling away.

“You’re welcome, babe!” He said rather excitedly and I cocked an eyebrow at him. He motioned his eyes towards the left of us and I saw exactly why he called me babe. The cameras were focused on us. Luckily they were too far away to hear our hushed conversation. I smiled.

“See ya, Lou”

“See ya, Niall.” He ruffled my hair before departing. I turned my attention back over to the stage and walked towards Savaan to discuss my rehearsal.

I, unfortunately, did get a few hand cramps. I must have signed my name a thousand times but it was fun. I loved meeting the fans and I took a picture with anyone who wanted one, as long as security allowed it. I understood that we had a lot of people in the lines and time was an issue but I guess I figured we could stay a little longer just to make sure the fans got what they wanted. A picture only takes two seconds.

Thursday morning I woke up rather happy. I was excited about tonight but a bit apprehensive at the same time because Harry still hasn’t texted me back but I still send him a good morning and good night text. It is taking him longer than I had imagined to get over the whole Jamie thing and I guess I am at fault for allowing the closeness. And I tried to call and apologize but he didn’t answer. I texted an apology but received no reply. 

The day passed quickly and it was almost time for me to sneak out. At midnight, I quietly made my way out onto the back patio and through the trees to the road where Lou’s car was waiting. We pulled into Harry’s drive twenty minutes later.

“Call me if you need anything ok.” I nodded

“Thanks, Lou.” I exited the car and walked to the door. I turned the knob.

“What the hell?” I whispered. It was locked. I tried again. Yup, definitely locked. That means he isn’t home. Where the hell is he? I walked down the steps and over to the garden and lifted up the realistic looking fake rock, knowing that is where the spare key is. I finally get into the house and look around for him. Nope. He really isn’t home.

I went to his room, stripped down to my boxers and curled up into the covers on his bed. I could smell his scent on his pillows and it provided me with comfort. I decided I would just wait for him to get home.

On Friday mornings, I have my alarm on my phone set for four am. It was going off. I fumble for it.

“Sorry, babe” I apologize to Harry for the alarm and taking so long to silence it. I stretch out and surprisingly my arms and legs don’t come in contact with anyone. I open my eyes and look to my right, where Harry usually sleeps. He isn’t here.

I quickly get out of bed and check the guest rooms then the living room and the den. He didn’t come home. You have got to be kidding me. I ignore the tears that have fallen from my eyes and call the only person who can help me.

“What?” Louis answers after the fourth ring and he doesn’t sound too happy about the early wake up call.

“He didn’t come home last night.” I stated with no emotion in my voice because I was trying to remain as calm as possible

“Niall?”

“Yes. It’s Niall and Harry didn’t come home last night and I need to get back to the contestants’ house by five. Could you come and get me, like now?”

“That twat.” He groaned, obviously still sleepy. “Yeah, I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

“Thanks, Lou”

“No problem. Bye”

He is being a jerk right now and I don’t like it one bit. He really needs to get over it. I am no longer sad about this. I’m actually rather mad. He will be at rehearsals today and I know that I have to push all of this anger away for those few hours because this is still a competition. I still want to win X-Factor. I have to keep my eyes on the prize and put this unnecessary drama with Harry on the back burner. I plop down on the bed, putting my clothes next to me. I start to slide on my pants just when an idea hits me. I think I’ll wear some of his clothing today. I smirk and open his closet and making sure I grab a pair of his boxers too. I get the clothing I want and with ten minutes until Louis arrives, I decide to take a quick shower. I might as well smell like him too.

It was eleven before Harry showed up. Conveniently after my rehearsal time was finished but just before Liam and Zayn’s. I just kept on smiling because I knew I was going to kill it on Saturday night and Savaan is a great coach. I didn’t need Harry. I wanted Harry, but I didn’t need him.

When he saw me, he took a double take. I smirked inside but kept a poker face for him to see. I had on a pair of his black jeans and one of his plaid shirts he is so fond of and I wore it as he would wear it; sleeves rolled up to just below the elbows, top buttons undone so you could see the chest and a couple bottom buttons undone. I made sure that the pants were slightly low on my hips so I could lift my arms up to ‘stretch’ and expose the top of his Calvin Klein underpants. I toyed with him all afternoon.

Louis, recognizing his clothing, thought it was quite humorous. Harry kept sending him dirty looks. 

Everyone was in the dining hall having lunch and I decided on a burger. I sat down with Liam, Zayn and some of the other contestants but made sure that I was right in Harry’s view. I kept a secret eye on him the entire time.

I purposely put more ketchup on my burger than needed and I took a bite making sure the condiment dropped from the burger and onto Harry’s shirt.

“Damn! I just spilled ketchup on my shirt!” I exclaimed, loud enough for Harry to hear. I knew he was watching. I looked down and with my index finger, I wiped up the ketchup and held it in front of my face, smirked and then stuck my finger in my mouth and then pulled the finger from my lips slower than I needed, removing all of the sauce.

Louis burst out into fits of laughter. Everyone looked over at them and Louis quickly stopped. Harry rolled his eyes at his best friend and lightly shoved his shoulder. He got up from his seat and left the room. I looked over to Louis and he smiled and gave me a thumbs up. I slightly chuckled and went back to my meal.

~Harry’s POV~

I’m currently lying in bed just thinking about everything that has happened since Saturday. I got home from staying out all night about a half hour ago. I am meant to be at Wembley at ten but I can’t bring myself to see Niall just yet.

He is pretty much driving me crazy. I was so mad at him. He actually pulled away from me to go over and basically console his evil ex-boyfriend. Jamie was calling him babe and baby and their hands were all over each other, sort of, and I had to just stand there and watch. I watched as my boyfriend was kissed by the guy that had caused him so much pain. I mean, I saw that Niall pushed him away but it still was more hurtful than I imagined something like that would be. Yet, I couldn’t do a thing. 

I know that I am going about this wrong and I know that I shouldn’t be ignoring his calls or texts and Louis is always quick to tell me how idiotic I am being. I know I should just let it go but I don’t think that I am done being mad at him.

I purposely didn’t tell him about the date with Cara but Lou told me that him and Niall were talking about it or that Lou just brought it up randomly in conversation. He slapped me again upside the head for not telling Niall like I was supposed to. Cara is sweet and we get along really well and I am putting on an act pretty good, acting all flirty with her but it’s not the same. I am meant to be with Niall. 

Cara was informed that she was technically a cover for me and I discussed things with her and she was ok with it. I certainly didn’t mention that I was dating anyone but she knew that I was gay and that the public couldn’t know yet. I’m glad she knows because if not, I would have felt like I was leading her on.

I got an angry call from Lou this morning. He let me have it. He dropped Niall off at my house at midnight, like we have planned for every Thursday but I still wasn’t ready to be near him so I ended up just staying at the studio. I slept on one of the uncomfortable couches. As soon as I got to my house, around six, my phone was beckoning me. He said that he was woken up at four am and had to drive back over here to pick Niall up and take him back to the house. The yelling continued for about twenty minutes before he just hung up on me.

I do feel really bad now. I can just imagine him alone in my bed, curled up under the covers and letting out his little soft snores while he sleeps. Now I don’t think I can face him because I feel so damn guilty. I shouldn’t still be mad at him. He has apologized. I have ignored the apologies, but he did give them none the less.

I groan and roll my face into my pillow. What the hell am I going to do?

I arrived at Wembley just before eleven. Lou was waiting for me at the entrance. Lou and I have spats quite often but we are only ever annoyed with one another for a couple hours at most. This is confirmed by him hugging me when I reach him.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you, Harry. But you are being a jerk to Niall and he doesn’t deserve it. He didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I’m not mad at you, Lou. But I am still hurt by what happened on Saturday, and now I feel horrible that I didn’t come home last night to sleep next to Niall and opted to have a sore back this morning from sleeping on the couch at the studio.” I grabbed the part of my back that was troubling me and tried to stretch it out. He slung his arm around me and we walked inside together.

“Niall is looking particularly good today, Harry.” Lou said smirking at me.

“Watch it Lou. He is my boyfriend” His smirk grew wider indicating that there was something that I was missing.

“Wait til you see him. I think you’ll agree” He laughed and pulled me along to the stage.

Niall is actually trying to torture me and I guess I deserve it. He is wearing my clothes and I know he is stretching on purpose to show me that he has on my boxers as well. And damn if he doesn’t look incredibly sexy in them. I’m such an idiot.

I keep my eyes on him for most of the afternoon and at lunch he decides to be even more tortuous and spill sauce on my shirt and then suck on his finger all seductively. Of course Lou laughed but I had to get out of there. I just need time to think and figure out how and when I am going to apologize. I know that Niall is somewhat stubborn so I know he won’t make it easy for me.

Niall sang ‘The Way You Look Tonight’ on Saturday and it was the most beautiful performance I have seen from him so far. We still hadn’t talked but during the song he made sure to look at every judge and the audience but then his eyes would lock with mine and I couldn’t do anything but stare back at the man I love as he sang to me, making me feel even worse for how I have been treating him.

Sunday I wanted to play it cool and just watch Niall to see his interactions with me; and they were minimal. I think, or rather, I know that I pushed this thing too far. I stayed upset longer than I should have and now he is doing the same thing to me as I did to him. 

When Dermot was reading off the results of who was safe, Niall made sure there was plenty of space between us. His name was first to be called of the boys and he hugged Liam and Zayn but just walked right by me. No one would really pick up on the meaning of his action but as I am his boyfriend and he skipped out on one of the few moments that it would be ok to hug while being televised, it hurt.

The night ended with William Lawrence, a guy in the over twenty eight category being sent home. I still had three of my boys remaining. Because William was sent home, Cheryl only had one of her contestants remaining, Louis had one group left and Simon had two girls.

It’s Sunday night and I just got home and wanted nothing more than to sleep. I am in bed and feeling rather lonely and so I decided to send Niall a goodnight text, thereby breaking my texting silence. Sadly, but understandingly, he didn’t reply. I set my phone down and while waiting for myself to fall asleep, I am running over scenarios of how I can make this whole thing blow over.

 

~Returning To Niall's POV~

“So you all should be pretty excited for this week. It is Beatles week after all and I know that you are each huge fans.” Harry states as we are discussing the upcoming week. Liam and Zayn say yes and I simply nod. I am trying to avoid eye contact with Harry right now. He gets angry with me for an entire week and thinks he can just text me with sweet messages all morning like nothing ever happened. It’s annoying.

“I’m sure each of you have songs in mind that you would like to sing, so what are you guys thinking?”

“I really want ‘Hey Jude’” Zayn states.

“Great one!” Harry replies. “Liam?”

“Not sure. I was kind of thinking ‘In My Life’. Good?” 

“Actually, I think that you will be able to pull that one off really well.” Harry states and Liam smiles.

“Ni?” Harry asks and taps the side of my knee. I lift my head and shrug my shoulders. He is smiling at me but I keep my lips even.

“Not sure. Maybe either um….Here Comes The Sun or maybe….Blackbird?” My forearms are rested on my knees and my hands are clasped together. I tilt my head up to wait for Harry to reply.

“Blackbird is a really good choice for you, I think.”

“Well I think I might actually lean more to Here Comes The Sun.” I said really just to be a pain in the ass. Liam clears his throat. Obviously he and Zayn are picking up on the undeniable relationship tension. I am looking Harry dead in the eyes.

“Ok. Whichever you want is fine with me. I think your voice will lend itself to Here Comes The Sun really well too.” I know this is him trying to be extra nice to me so that maybe I’ll talk to him but I don’t think so. If I have to be put through a week of torture due to my boyfriend ignoring me then he can be put through the same thing, I reckon.

“Ok, good. Here Comes The Sun, it is then. I’m going to see Savaan.” I stand from my seat and leave.

The days have passed quickly and I have been keeping myself busy. Harry sends the occasional text and I have begun to reply but with quick one or two word answers. Maybe I am wrong for doing the same thing he did to me but having him ignore me and give me attitude for an entire week when I did nothing wrong, was idiotic. 

I know that he is feeling bad about what he did and so that is the reason for the kindness he is showing me now. He hasn’t even apologized. He just thinks if he is sweet and says ‘I love you’ that it will make everything ok. But it’s not. 

I woke up Thursday morning because my phone was going off. I grab it off floor next to my bed before it can wake the boys and swipe my finger over the screen.

To: Niall

Are you coming over tonight?

No. Well, at least that is what I want to reply.

To: Hxx

You gonna be there this time?

To: Niall

Yes, babe. I’ll be there.

To: Hxx

Fine. Midnight it is. 

To: Niall

Great! I’m excited to get some alone time with you!! ;) See you tonight, baby!

Yea, I’m not responding to that. He won’t be at rehearsals today and I’m feeling fine about that. I will be able to put all of my focus on perfecting my vocals.

Liam, Zayn and I are sitting having lunch and I can feel their eyes boring into me, like they want to say something but aren’t willing to. I don’t know but whatever it is, it’s starting to get slightly annoying. After about fifteen minutes of them looking at me and then looking at each other, I finally bring it up.

“What?”

“What?” Liam replies and both just look at me with the ‘deer caught in the headlights’ look.

“You two clearly want to say or ask something. So, what is it?”

“Well…..not that it is any of our business, but what’s going on between you and Harry? Are you fighting?”

“Yea. Kind of, I guess.” I sigh. “He basically ignored me all last week because he was upset by the whole Jamie thing. He didn’t tell me he was going out with Cara and we made a deal that he would tell me when he had to take her out and he didn’t even come home on Thursday night, so I had to sleep in bed all alone and I still have no clue where he was and now he is feeling all guil-“ I notice that their mouths have dropped. What did I say?

“What?” I ask, completely puzzled by their reactions.

“You just said that he didn’t come home and you slept in his bed all alone.” Zayn said. Yikes. I just let it slip. Well I can’t very well cover it up now. Might as well come clean.

“Yeah…um…about that….I, well, I have been sneaking out at midnight every Thursday and staying at his place. Lou picks me up on the road just beyond the trees on the side of the property and Harry drops me off there on Friday morning and I sneak back in and am back in bed by five.”

“Aren’t you afraid you’ll get caught? That’s kind of risky.” Liam stated.

“I was at first but now we have it down to a science and I’m not worried about it anymore.”

“Are you going tonight?” Zayn asked.

“Yea. I don’t really want to. He has been trying to be nice to me but he hasn’t even apologized for his behavior last week so I have been kind of a twat to him this week. Maybe we will make up tonight. Who knows.” I finished and bit into a chip.

“So, Ni…..Since you have been sleeping at his house, does that means you guys are…you know!” Zayn chuckles out and wiggles his eyebrows. Liam starts to laugh and I throw a chip at Zayn and begin to blush slightly.

“Ah…they totally have! Look at his face!” Liam laughs out. People around are starting to look our way. I shush them up and we go back to our lunch.

“You off?” Liam whispers as I grab one of my snapbacks off the shelf in the closet. I put it on and nod.

“Don’t wait up” I smirk and wink at him.

“Oh God, Niall” Liam replies and covers his head with the pillow. 

I cut through the trees and into Louis’ car and am at Harry’s in, like usual, twenty minutes. However he is standing in the doorway with his arms open ready to greet me. I say goodbye to Lou and he pulls away.

“Hey baby” He pulls me into a hug as I reach the door.

“Hi” I pull away from the hug and walk into the living room and take a seat on the couch.

“Been a while since I’ve seen you in a hat. I kinda miss it.” He says with a wink and sits close to me and puts his hand on my thigh. I take my hat off and toss it on the coffee table. I hear him sigh and he pulls his knees up to his chest and wraps his arms around his legs and lays his head down on the top of his knees, facing me.

“I don’t like that your ignoring me, babe. It hurts.” I just look at him with astonishment. He really just said that to me.

“Really Harry! You ignored me all last week and that’s ok but you can’t handle it if I do the same thing to you.” I am trying to remain calm but my patience is wearing thin.

“Let’s just stop being mad at each other. All is forgiven. I love you. Let’s just be happy.”

“No. All is not forgiven. How am I to forgive you when you haven’t even apologized to me yet?” My voice is now getting a little louder. I slide my body away from him and sit up onto the arm of the couch and face him.

“I have so apologized.”

“Ha! When, Harry? Huh? When” I am now standing, arms crossed waiting for an answer that can’t possible come because he hasn’t apologized.

“I…..it was….”

“Yeah, exactly. You haven’t.”

“I’ve been sending you a bunch of loving texts.” He stands up and faces me.

“Those weren’t apologies. Not like the ones that I sent over and over to you. I apologized to you and I didn’t even do anything wrong. And I didn’t even get a reply back or a call.”

“You left me to go snuggle up to your ex and you don’t call that doing something wrong” His voice now matching mine in anger.

“I didn’t leave you, Harry. Jesus. I said goodbye to him. I hugged him and got closure. He kissed me and I pushed away. I thought we already went over this or do I need to spell it out for you again?”

“You are making this more difficult than this has to be. Just forgive me and let’s move on.”

“No! You still haven’t even said the words ‘I’m sorry’.”

“Fine. I’m sorry.” He huffed.

“Oh cause that was real sincere, Harry.” I rolled my eyes.

“You know what, Niall. Fine. You aren’t even trying. You aren’t trying to make this work.” I just stood there shocked that he would say something like that to me. 

“I’m not trying. You think I’m not trying? You are out of your damn mind, Harry. How can you say that I am not trying when I agreed to secretly date you knowing how difficult it would be. How can you say that I’m not trying when I’m the one who has to watch their boyfriend go out with someone else and have to be ok with it. I’m the one who fought all last week to get us to be ok. You’re the one who didn’t fight Harry. You’re the one who went out with Cara without telling me first. You’re the one that didn’t come back here on Thursday night and I lay in bed waiting for you and you never showed up. Where were you Harry? Were you out all night with her? I hope you had a great time while your boyfriend was all alone cuddled up in your bed, trying to fix things but you couldn’t even bother to come home. I’m done with the conversation.” I storm off down the hall and go into one of the guest rooms. I will not sleep in the same bed as him. 

I strip down and get into the less comfortable guest bed and pull the covers up to my eyes and turn my back to the door. 

After a few minutes I can hear Harry’s feet padding down the corridor. I hear him lean against the door jam, it creaks slightly. I make no effort to turn around.

“You’re not coming to bed?” He says softly.

“I’m in bed and four am comes early so I suggest that you go get into your bed.” I reply without turning to face him.

I listen for a little bit and then hear him lightly sigh and a few moments later I hear the bedroom door close. Only then do I roll over to face the now closed door. A let a tear slip from my eye. I brush it away and close my eyes.

If I’m honest, I was kind of hoping that I would wake up in his arms this morning but he stayed in his room. I just want him to show me that he is sorry. I want him to show me that he loves me. If he would have been in this bed this morning, with his arms wrapped tightly around me, I think I would start feeling better. He would have been showing me that he wants us to get better. 

Last night was horrible. I can’t believe that he said that I wasn’t trying and I basically had to tell him a handful of times that he still didn’t apologize and then he finally said it with no sincerity in his voice at all. How am I supposed to believe that?

I jump in the shower and am out after about ten minutes. I walk towards his room and hear his shower running so I know he is already up. I end up sitting on the couch waiting for him to come out.

“You ready” I hear him say and I turn to face him. He is just entering the living room and I feel bad. I can see that his eyes are slightly puffy and have a red tint to the rims of the lids. He, unmistakably, has been crying.

“Yes” I say and walk to the door. I get into his car and he soon follows. 

The ride back to the contestants’ house is completely silent. He stops at the usual spot on the road where I cut through the trees. I unbuckle and place my hand on the door handle.

“Bye Harry.” I say in a hushed tone and quickly glance at him. He drops his head.

“Bye” I exit the vehicle and navigate through the trees. I make it back to my bed and snuggle the pillow over my head. How am I supposed to do well at rehearsals while I feel like this?

Friday and Saturday have gone by, thankfully, really quick. Harry hasn’t really been much help on the mentoring side and I guess I really don’t blame him. I can see he is hurting but that doesn’t negate my feelings and everything he said to me on Thursday night. So we pushed through it.

It’s about an hour before show time and we are all back stage getting ready. Lou is helping me with wardrobe and like always, trying to make me feel better saying that Harry and I will work it out. He then steps aside and goes to help out Liam and Zayn.

A half hour before show time Harry takes the three of us to the side for our usual, before the show, pep talk. The cameras catch this every week and I am faking a smile to hide my unhappiness. He is just about finished when someone calls his name. We all look up to see Cara walking into the dressing room.

“Hi, babe” She says with a smile and Harry does actually look surprised to see her. With the cameras around he knows and even I know that he has to put on the act. I am dying inside having to watch it. I haven’t seen them together since the premiere and that was just a first date thing so obviously they are going to be friendlier towards each other now. I feel a hand being placed on my shoulder and one wrapped around my waist. I look to my left and right and see Liam and Zayn holding onto me providing subtle comfort. 

She kisses him on the cheek and he kisses hers. He holds onto her hips and I take a deep breath.

“What are you doing here?” He asks. Ok, so he didn’t know she was coming so I can’t get mad that he didn’t tell me before hand.

“Well, I just thought that we could go out after the show.” She smiles and I see him nod.

“Yea sure. Whatever you want, love.” Really. Love. Oh come on!

“Niall, come here. Let me refix your hair a bit.” Louis says and then drags me away before I can respond. He turns me so my back is to what is going on between Cara and Harry. He begins to ‘fix’ my hair.

“You don’t need to watch that, Ni.” He whispers.

“Thanks, Lou.” He fiddles with a few strands a little more.

“You do know that she knows he is gay, right. She knows this is a cover kind of thing.”

“What? He didn’t tell me.” We are still talking in hushed tones. “Does she know about me?”

“No. Just that Harry is gay and his management doesn’t want him to come out yet.” He replies. “All finished, handsome!” Louis states proudly. I know that is him telling me that Harry and Cara have finished with their flirty things but the camera crew thinks he means that he is finished with my hair.

“Good luck out there tonight boys.” Cara says and the three of us thank her.

“See you later, babe” She kisses Harry’s cheek once more.

“Bye” Harry replies and it is now time for us to start lining up. The show starts in about five minutes.

Last night went better than I expected. I think I did really well despite everything that has been going on for the past two weeks.

The entertainment section of the Sunday paper had, of course, an X-Factor write up along with pictures from the show. It also had what they called ‘Couple Alerts’. There was a picture of Harry and Cara out at a bar with some other friends. He did look like he had a good time. At least he was having fun. I am happy about that. It talked about how they are dating and such. I didn’t much pay attention to it. Also, Louis and I are apparently an official couple now. There were a couple pictures of us alongside the little write up that states that we are always together. The X-Factor producers must still be feeding the press that incorrect information. Louis and I have never been asked about our supposed relationship but have both agreed that if asked, we won’t lie. We will tell them that we are not dating and are just friends. Sometimes it’s just better not to get involved in the rumors.

The results show came and went. Myself, Zayn and Liam are still here. The last group was eliminated tonight. Simon has two acts remaining and Cheryl only has one. 

Harry and I still haven’t reconciled and at this point I am thinking that we both feel too guilty or too ashamed to even look at each other. I am of course still upset because he hasn’t been trying to make this right. I am not going to be the push over and just forgive him. Maybe a majority of that is because I was the push over in my relationship with Jamie and I refuse to allow that ever to happen again. I know Harry is nowhere close to how Jamie was, but I still don’t want to.

On a happier note, my parents called to congratulate me for making it through another week and to also tell me that they are coming to London this Friday and will be staying through Monday. They will be able to see the live shows and I couldn’t be happier. I haven’t seen them since I left at the beginning of October and it’s the end of November now. 

I have faith that Harry and I will work through all of this and so I am just holding onto that. It may be rocky right now and he may not have come to understand and see how I am feeling in all of this but hopefully he will soon and hopefully I’ll finally be able to be back in my boyfriend’s arms, where I belong.

 

“This week you will be performing two songs. So obviously that means a lot more rehearsals. You boys will be busier than ever. The theme is Rock songs. It might be nice to maybe do an up tempo and a rock ballad. There are so many songs to choose from. You’ll have a few hours to look over the lists of songs and then you’ll meet with Savaan later to discuss arrangement.” Harry informed us.

“We aren’t going over them with you first?” Liam asked and even I was thinking that.

“Well I, unfortunately, won’t be here this week. I have obligations in Los Angeles that I can’t rearrange and since Louis no longer has any acts remaining he will step in as your mentor this week. You’ll be meeting with him and Savaan in a couple hours.” Now I am getting upset. It’s obvious that he has known about this for probably a couple weeks and he is now just telling me or us, rather.

“When do you leave?” I ask straight faced and I know he can see that I am annoyed. He looks down at his watch and back up at me. With sorrow in his eyes he answers.

“In about two hours.” I grab a list of the songs and without another word, I stand up and walk away and find my own corner to mope in while looking over the list.

About an hour later and nowhere near have two songs chosen, my phone vibrates in my pocket. I hesitate because I know it is Harry and he will want to have a goodbye moment before he leaves. I am still upset from Thursday night and for the past two week in general.

To: Niall

Old dressing room?

I drop my head onto my knees. Do I really want to face him? Do I really want to deal with the sadness that will come along with saying goodbye to him? Yes I am still sad but at least I can still see his face most days. Now I won’t see him all week and there is absolutely no chance for us to fix this with him all the way in America. 

I convince myself that I should say goodbye and head towards the dressing room. He is already on the couch, waiting for me, when I arrive. I step in and lock the door. He stands to greet me with a hug. I stay in the embrace for a few moments before pulling away. He returns to his seat on the couch and I sit opposite him on the other couch.

“Damn it, Niall. Why are you still acting like this?” He snaps

Without a word, I just stand up and make my way to the door. As soon as my hand touches the knob, I feel him grab my waist and basically pick me up and carry me back to the couch and he drops me on it.

“Really nice, Harry.” I try to stand again but he quickly straddles my hips immobilizing me from my escape. I huff and cross my arms over my chest.

“I don’t know what you want from me. I said I was sorry”

“You didn’t mean it” I cut right back and he rolled his eyes.

“I love you. I’ve been telling you I love you. What else do you need?” I slightly chuckle because he really just doesn’t get it. He still doesn’t get it. I finally muster enough strength and push him off me and on to the couch. I stand and when he tries to hold me in place again, I put my hand up. 

“I don’t want you touching me right now, Harry. Just stop” He pauses.

“You just don’t get it. Your actions speak louder than your words Harry. You ignored me for a full week. You get angry with me for nothing. You stayed out all night on our Thursday. You’ve never sincerely apologized. You are leaving for a week and you didn’t even bother to tell me until two hours before you have to leave and we were also with Liam and Zayn. The words ‘I Love You’ sound nice Harry but you have to back them up with your actions.” I can feel the tears welling up and I close my eyes tightly and feel the wetness run down over my cheeks. I return my eyes to him.

“Let’s just take these next few days and really think about things ok.” He looks at me like I just crushed him.

“What do you mean?” He slowly reaches for my hand. I allow our finger tips to touch.

“I think we both need a few days to think about things, this relationship, this ridiculous fight, just everything. I think that it’s best if we have time to ourselves. Just have a safe trip Harry and I’ll see you on Saturday night.”

“You’re breaking up with me.” A tear slips from his eye.

“No, Harry I’m not. I just think that all of this stress is getting to us and we just need to cool it for a few days. You’ll be in L.A. working and I’ll be here working. Let’s just focus on ourselves for now, ok? We can find some time to discuss all of this when you get back.” I take a few steps closer to him. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him close to me. He doesn’t hesitate to hold me around the middle of my back; running his hands up and down.

I pull away and look into his eyes. I want nothing more than to kiss him right now but I don’t. I am still wrapped in his arms but I begin to pull away.

“I love you” I whisper and turn away from him and exit the room.

The remainder of the day was horrible. I couldn’t concentrate on anything. I met with Louis and Savaan to talk about my song choices and I had only chosen one so far; the up tempo song, ‘Use Somebody’ by Kings of Leon. I was still working on finding my ballad. Louis and Savaan suggested that I look over the lists tonight and have it picked by tomorrow so I could start rehearsing. I was able to practice Use Somebody and that one seemed like it would work really well.

It’s now nine and I am in bed looking over the lists for what feels like the hundredth time. I scan my eyes across a page and finally a title sticks out in my mind. I don’t think that I have ever heard the song before but with the way I am feeling right now, the song title matches everything perfectly.

I download the song to my phone and put in my ear buds and press play. By the end of the song, I am full of silent sobs and have wet cheeks. The lyrics are completely summing up what I am feeling in this situation with Harry. Do I really want to sing something that has so much emotion for me? What if I breakdown while singing it? What will I do when I make eye contact with him while singing this very emotional song? But maybe he will finally get it. If I sing these lyrics, maybe he will finally understand what I have been trying to say. The song is all acoustic and I would really love to accompany myself while performing this. I’ll just have to ask Louis and Savaan if I am allowed.

Tuesday I was feeling both happy and sad. I missed Harry, of course. So that was upsetting and I also realized that on Saturday night, the night of the live show, it is Harry and my two month anniversary. It’s hard to believe that two months have gone by so quickly. Does he remember? Will he know the significance that Saturday night holds?

I am happy because I am able to play my guitar and accompany myself during the ballad that I will be singing. I am also happy that my parents will be here on Friday and I just really need a hug from them. I’ll be having dinner with them on Friday night and then I’ll be staying with them at their hotel on Saturday night. 

Wednesday and Thursday were filled with nonstop rehearsals. All of us were exhausted by the end of each day. Friday I was excited because my parents would be picking me up from Wembley and we would be spending a few hours together before bringing me back to the contestants’ house.

Friday morning and afternoon, I felt really good. My rehearsals were great and I was confident with the songs. I was still a tad nervous about having to sing the ballad with the hopes that no tears fall from my eyes but confident, none the less.

At five in the evening I said goodbye to Liam and Zayn and walked out to the front of the stadium to meet my parents. I saw them instantly.

“Mummy!” I yelled and ran into the arms of my mother.

“My baby” She started to cry and held onto me tight. After a few minutes we pulled away and she held onto my hands and pulled them out to the side of my body, inspecting her little boy. I smiled. My father and I shared an equally embarrassing greeting and a half hour later we were enjoying a lovely meal.

Saturday morning I woke up early. I debated on whether or not to call Harry and say happy anniversary or at least send him a text. We haven’t texted or spoken since he left on Monday and I am really craving his voice. I know I said we should both think about things but what I really meant is that he should think about things. I know I want him and I have been fighting for him but he really hasn’t been doing the same for me. I decided against it. I do wonder if he remembers though.

Dress rehearsals went off without a hitch and around six the back stage was controlled chaos. I knew Harry was already in the stadium but I just haven’t seen him yet and the nerves are getting bigger and bigger as each minute passes.

A half hour before show time, I come face to face with my boyfriend. We can’t have the reunion I know that I want because of all of the cameras and I hope he is feeling the same. We only said hello and he then said hello to everyone else.

He gave us our pep talk and before I knew it I was on the stage singing my first song of the evening, Use Somebody. Forty five minutes later I was walking back on stage to perform my ballad.

The staging is the simplest I have ever had. One wooden stool and a mic stand. I take my seat and get my guitar situated on my lap. Dermot introduces me and the spotlight shines down. I look at Harry and his gaze on me is intense. I look down and see the shine of my guitar pick necklace. I pick it up and place a quick kiss on the engraving and let it fall back to my chest. I strum the first chord.

“Saying I love you, is not the words I want to hear from you. It’s not that I want you not to say it but if you only knew how easy it would be to show me how you feel. More than words is all you have to do to make it real, then you wouldn’t have to say you love me, cause I’d already know.

More than words.

Now that I've tried to talk to you and make you understand. All you have to do is close your eyes and just reach out your hands and touch me, hold me close don't ever let me go. More than words is all I ever needed you to show, then you wouldn't have to say that you love me, cause I'd already know.

What would you do if my heart was torn in two. More than words to show you feel that your love for me is real. What would you say if I took those words away. Then you couldn't make things new. Just by saying I love you.

More than words.”

I know that I had a tear or two in my eyes but I had to push them away and go talk to Dermot. The judges gave their critique and all words were favorable. Harry simply said “That was beautiful, Niall” I thanked all of the judges and walked back stage.

After the show I found my parents back stage. I was finally able to introduce them to Liam and Zayn. The three of us have formed such a tight bond throughout this whole competition and I wanted my parents to know the faces that went with the names I so frequently mentioned.

I see Harry and Lou making their way over to us. Harry smiles and pulls my mother into a hug.

“Harry, dear! How are you?” My mum says and kisses his cheeks.

“Great, Maura. You look very beautiful.” He smiles.

“Well, thank you Harry.” She replied.

“Bobby. I hope you are well.” He shook my father’s hand.

“Yes, Harry. I’m glad to see you have been taking such great care of our Niall. He is getting better every week. Your expertise no doubt.”

“No, Niall would be perfect even without me.” He smiles at me and I return the smile.

“So” My mum says casting her gaze upon Louis who is standing next to me. “You’re my son’s boyfriend.” She half laughs at the statement because my parents both know that it isn’t true.

“Apparently” He laughs. “Louis Tomlinson” He says and kisses her cheek and shakes my father’s hand. After the introductions and some small talk Harry turns to me.

“Any big plans tonight, Niall. You know you should be in bed by midnight.” He put emphasis on the word ‘midnight’ and I knew right then he was asking if I would sneak out and be at his place by twelve. Lou also waited for my answer because he would be driving me there.

“Yea, actually I am staying at the Hilton with my parents for the night so no big plans for me.” I said secretly informing Harry that I couldn’t. His face dropped slightly and I saw Lou rub Harry’s back.

“That’s really nice.” He says trying to sound happy. Twenty minutes later I was at my parent’s hotel getting ready for bed.

My parents got a suite for the few days they were going to be in London. It had a bedroom and living room and a small kitchenette. The couch was a pull out bed and that was what I was trying to get comfortable on. I tossed and turned a few minutes and finally found a spot that I could manage with. Just as I closed my eyes my phone started going off.

My eyes shot open and I scrambled to pick it up before it woke my parents. I looked at the clock and it was just after eleven.

“Hello” I quietly spoke.

“Hi baby”

“Harry” I said and it was like a sigh of relief. I was happy he called.

“Yes, babe. Do you think you could come up to room eight twenty four?”

“What?”

“Just come up to room eight twenty four, please”

“Ok. I’ll be right up.”

The call ended and it actually hit me that Harry got a room here in this hotel. I smiled at the action. Maybe he does remember and we will at least have a half hour of our anniversary to be together. I pull on some sweatpants and opt for no shirt. I may be doing this as a bit of a tease but I don’t care. The pants are low on my hips showing the top of my briefs and I know it will drive Harry insane. I quietly go to the bathroom to brush my teeth and give my hair a little ruffle and then quietly sneak out of the room.

I knock on the door of room 824 and wait. I hear slight shuffling around and then the door opens. I am standing with my hands in the pockets of the pants and I see Harry raking his eyes up and down my body. I smile and step inside. 

I walk to the couch and before I can even say anything I feel his arms wrap around me. His hands are caressing my chest and abs and his lips are leaving kisses across the tops of my shoulders. I can’t help but to moan at the contact and press my backside into him. The feeling is overwhelming but I gather my hormones and pull them back in and begin to pull myself away.

“I think we should talk Harry” I say and take his hands and we sit together on the couch facing one another.

“We shou-“ I begin and Harry cuts me off.

“No, babe. Can I just talk for a few minutes?” He asks and I nod.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I really have been a complete jerk to you and you really didn’t do anything wrong. I was just a jealous idiot and acted like a five year old that didn’t get his way and then I just expected you to forgive me like it was no big deal. I really have thought about all of it this week and the blame is all on me. I didn’t come home that Thursday night and that was immature. I actually stayed at the studio and slept on that horrid sofa and had a sore back for the next two days because of it.” We smiled. He continued.

“I know this has been so difficult on the both of us and you have been nothing but supportive and understanding and honestly the best in all of this and I haven’t been showing you how much it all means to me. I had to try my hardest tonight to hold in the tears when you sang that song because I know every word matched what you have been trying to tell me and I’m sorry I didn’t get it until now. I do love you so much, Niall and I am going to start proving it. I promise.” I let a couple tears leave my eyes but they never made it off my face. Harry fingers were catching them and wiping them away as they fell.

“I love you too, baby. So much.” I lean in and place a gently kiss on his lips. The kiss that I have been longing to have happen for three weeks and it was amazing.

“Am I forgiven?” He shyly asks.

“Absolutely” We kiss once more.

“I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to do any big thing in here for you. I just got this room about an hour ago.”

“That’s fine, Harry. It’s enough just being in your arms.” I started to lean against his chest. He stopped me and stood up. I look at him puzzled and he walks over to the closet near the door. He pulls out some flowers and walks back over to me.

“Happy anniversary, Ni.” I accept the flowers with a smile and glossy eyes.

“You remembered” I whispered.

“Of course I did, baby.” He kissed the top of my head while I smelled the beautiful arrangement.

“I love them. Thank you. Happy anniversary.” I replied and kissed his lips once more. We pulled away and leaned our foreheads on one another and stared into each other’s eyes.

“Can I make love to you, Niall?” I lightly smiled at his question. I caressed his cheek and kissed his lips. I stood from the couch and took his hand and led him over to the bed.

I woke early the next morning tightly wrapped in Harry’s embrace. I knew I had to get up and go back to my parent’s room but I really didn’t want to leave my boyfriend’s loving hold. I watched him for a few minutes before gently waking him.

“I have to go baby” I whispered.

“But I don’t want you to.” He whined in his sexy morning voice. His eyes still not opened. I shifted a bit so that I could place a kiss on each of his eyelids, then his nose and lastly his lips. His hand went to the back of my head and held me in place while he took his time moving his lips against mine.

We said goodbye fifteen minutes later and I was at my parent’s room by seven. I walked in and smelled bacon. Shit, I mentally cursed. My parents are already up.

“Smells great mum” I exclaimed and kissed her cheek. “Morning dad” He smiled and returned his eyes back to the paper he was reading.

“Where were you this morning, Niall?” Mum asked.

“I just um went for a little walk. Couldn’t sleep anymore.” I stole a piece of bacon from the plate and plopped down on the couch, apparently my mum had folded it back together, and looked at the paper my father was reading.

“Without a shirt on?” My dad said and looked at me with a raised eyebrow. I looked down and yea, no shirt. I didn’t wear one up to Harry’s room last night and I didn’t think to put on one of his this morning.

“I…um….” I began to stutter trying to come up with something. I look at my mum and she is smirking.

“Why don’t you just invite Harry down here for breakfast, dear. I’m sure he is hungry.”

“Wha-what?” I suddenly have developed a stuttering problem. My father slightly chuckles.

“We heard you on the phone last night. We know you left the room and went to whatever room Harry has here. Just invite him down.” Dad patted my back and I was slightly embarrassed. I had just been caught by my parents.

“Go on.” Mum coaxed. I picked up my phone and sent him a text telling him that my parents heard us on the phone and know that I went to see him and now they want him down here for breakfast. He said that he would be down but would feel awkward because they knew we spent the night together. I told him our room number and decided to finally put a shirt on.

By seven thirty Harry, myself and my parents were eating breakfast and Harry was right, it was slightly awkward at first.

“So are you two dating? And you don’t need to hide anything from us.” My mum said breaking the silence and looked between Harry and me. We looked at each other and he nodded letting me know to tell them.

“Yes.” My parents smiled at my reply and I could see Harry’s face slightly light up.

“How long?” Dad questions.

“Since the day he came up to Ireland after the whole Jamie incident.”

“Wow. That long! Well, that is wonderful. Bobby and I really like you, Harry and you have always seemed to make Niall happy so we certainly approve.”

“Thank you so much. That means a lot to me. Niall makes me very happy.” He replies and takes my hand and places our joined hands on his lap. I smile at him and he smiles lovingly back.

“You know you can’t say anything to anyone about this, right.” I say removing my eyes from Harry and looking to my parents.

“Of course.” Mum states and we return to our meal. By noon I am back at Wembley with the other contestants going over the time table for tonight’s live result show.

 

Waking up this morning was literally the worst thing ever. Another Monday morning after the live shows and it was the most awful feeling. I looked over to Zayn and he was lying on his back, hands under his head, eyes looking blankly to the bottom of the top bunk that he was sleeping under. I let my eyes wander to the, now empty, top bunk and brush a tear away from my cheek. 

We never expected for Liam to be sent home. It was such a shock and last night as soon as the broadcast was over Zayn and I held onto Liam and we all shed some tears.

He, of course, told us not to focus on his leaving and to keep doing the best we can and he will be routing and voting for us each week. When we returned to the house we helped him pack. He decided that he wanted to drive himself home after the show ended. We all stood in the courtyard hugging, sharing a tearful goodbye and he was soon gone. Zayn and I walked arm and arm back up to our room and went right to sleep.

I see Zayn rub his hands over his face and sigh in frustration. I pull the covers off of me and slide out of my bed. I tap his leg and motion for him to move over. He does and I lay next to him. 

We are both on our backs, casting our eyes to the bed above us, silently taking it all in.

“Remember the time that he stubbed his toe on the side of the dresser” I started to chuckle. Zayn smiled.

“Yes. He grunted a few times and did some weird dance and then just went on about his business like nothing happened. I’ve never laughed so hard in all my life.” We looked at each other and smiled.

“I’m gonna miss him.” Zayn added.

“Me too. But he will actually be back in a couple weeks for the finals so we will see him soon and we can call and bug him every chance we get!”

“Sounds good to me” He responded and smacked my stomach.

“Ugh.” I huffed and knocked my knee against his. “Well, I have to go do my video diary. I’ll see you in a bit.” He nodded and I got up from his bed and threw some decent clothing on and headed downstairs.

During the video diary I was obviously talking about how much I am going to miss Liam and how close we all got and I considered him one of my best mates. I tried to sound upbeat but I was still quite upset over Liam’s dismissal. I answered a few questions and the last question made me remember my actions before singing More Than Words. I read the question.

“This question comes from Sophia from London. Hello, babe! She asks, What is the importance of the necklace you kissed on Saturday night?” I smiled.

“I was given this necklace..” I begin and pull it out from under my shirt and hold it up for a second and then let it fall to my chest. “….from someone as a gift. It’s a guitar pick and on the back it has the date I auditioned for the X-Factor. It’s very special to me and I guess I consider it a bit of a lucky charm, so that’s why I kissed it.” I half lied. I mean I kissed it for good luck but I also kissed it because Harry would understand the meaning behind that kiss on the small inanimate object hanging from my neck.

“Thank you all so much for the questions and keeping me here another week. I love you all. See you next week, hopefully!” I waved to the camera and began to stand up to leave. 

“Congratulations on making it to the semi-finals. You both deserve it. I know we are really upset about Liam leaving but let’s just try to focus on choosing the right songs for this Saturday. I know that is what Liam would want you both to do.” Harry stated during our meeting with him on Monday afternoon.

“You both will be performing two songs. One song that you think will help get you to the finals and one song must be a dance club hit. That kind of leaves you with endless possibilities. Since there are only five of contestants remaining on Sunday the two with the lowest votes will have to sing for us judges and we will then decide who goes home. I really ask you both to do the very best that you can because I don’t know what I would do if both of you were in the bottom and I had to choose. That would be almost impossible because I honestly wouldn’t know who to go with because you are both amazing. The ideal situation is for neither of you to be in the bottom, and that is what we are going to shoot for! So we are really going to work extremely hard this week in rehearsals, ok?”

Zayn and I agree with him and we begin to look over the song lists trying to choose the best possible songs. 

I spent all afternoon and evening trying to pick out the best songs. Harry suggested that for the dance hit that I sing ‘Right Next To You’ by Chris Brown and Justin Beiber. I liked the suggestion and decided to go with it. But I still needed a song that I thought would, as the show calls it, get me to the final.

I wanted something that felt meaningful that way I would be able to put all of my emotion into it. You can really tell when a person is just singing the lyrics and when they are feeling the lyrics they sing. I wanted people to feel the latter. I put my ipod on shuffle and with my ear buds in, I turned up the volume and relaxed on my bed. 

After about a half hour of listening to various songs, I heard it. I sat up from my bed and looked over the lists to see if the song was there. I smiled in relief that it was an approved song. While I’ve always loved this beautiful song, the lyrics now held meaning for me. I could sing through my emotions. I could sing for Harry, I could sing for us.

“So Zayn picked really great songs for this week, Niall. What’s the last song you came up with?” Harry asked as soon as I arrived to the studio on Tuesday where we would be rehearsing for today.

“Better Man by James Morrison” His eyes light up and he smiled beautifully.

“That’s perfect, Ni.”

“Thanks, Harry. Do you think I could accompany myself with my guitar again?” I asked hoping I could.

“I don’t see there being any issue with that but I’ll check today and let you know tomorrow.”

“Thanks” I replied with a smile and stood up from the chair and made my way into the booth to begin rehearsals.

Two hours later found Harry and me in that very large bathroom that we visited the first week I was here. We first had a rather hot and exciting kissing session and as much as it was clear what both of us had wanted to do, I refuse to do anything more than kiss while in a bathroom. I wanted to continue but we knew our time in there had to be minimal. We pulled our faces away after a couple minutes and stayed silent for another; just holding each other. Harry was the first to break the silence.

“Would you go on a date with me, babe?”

“You know we can’t go out, Harry” I replied

“I know we can’t go out in public but that doesn’t mean that I can’t take you out on a date. Leave it to me and Thursday night I’ll plan the perfect date for us. Deal?” I smiled and kissed his lips.

“Deal” We kissed once more.

“I should go. I’ll see you in a few minutes. I love you, baby” I stated as I rose from my position in his lap. He smacked my bottom while I was walking away. I turned around with a shocked look on my face.

“Harry!” I exclaimed but quietly so no one would hear. He winked and made a kissy face. I smirked and walk out of the room, wiggling my hips and backside in an over exaggerated manner. I could hear his chuckles as I closed the door behind me.

Wednesday was tiring. We had rehearsals from ten in the morning until seven at night. The only thing that would have really helped me get through the day would have been to be able to see Harry but unfortunately he wasn’t able to be at rehearsals, therefore it made the day seem longer than normal. On the other hand, I was given the ok that I could play my guitar while singing Better Man, so that was a bright spot during the long and exhausting day.

I woke up Thursday with excitement. It was Harry and my ‘Date Night’ and I was curious as to what he would plan but very excited that he was working so hard to show me that he truly does love me. 

That got me wondering if I was doing the same for him. Was I showing him that I loved him? Was I doing enough to keep him happy? I am sure that we were both happy but I wanted to make sure that I show it too. I thought about different things I could do for him tonight and while I knew he was planning the date, I couldn’t help but want to add my own little special thing for him as well.

What would I be able to do? I am currently not in the position to go and buy him a gift or get anything for tonight so what else would I have to offer. I guess that I could sing him a song. I’ve seen a few acoustic guitars in his house and I could use one for tonight. So now, what song would I sing? I don’t want to sing Batter Man; I’m performing that on Saturday night. I need something that he hasn’t heard me sing before. Maybe something that could be one of the cheesy ‘this is our song’ moments. I didn’t really have the time to think about it any longer. I had to get ready for the day; another long day of rehearsals.

“Zayn, you gotta help me! What top do I wear? Would you think I’m hotter in this or this?” I ask moving each top back and forth in front of my chest. Zayn chuckles.

“What?” I ask, getting stressed more and more every minute. I want to look perfect for Harry tonight. We have had secret meetings before, even back in Ireland but this is the first time it’s been called an actual date.

“Ni…um..saying your ‘hot’ is a little strange for me. I mean you’re a good looking lad but I wouldn’t exactly say hot.” He began to smirk. I tossed one of the shirts at his face. He pulled it off of his head and smiled back at me.

“I think you look best in the blue top. It brings out your eyes.” 

“Are you saying you’ve noticed my eyes Zayn?” I wink at him jokingly and he throws a shirt back at me. I pull the royal blue v-neck over my head and slide it down over my chest. I look down at my outfit. I look up to meet Zayn’s eyes.

“Good?”

“Yes, Niall. You look hot!” I smile. 

“Thanks, Zayn.” I say softly and he gives me a hug.

“I wish Li was here.” He whispers.

“Me too.” I reply and we pull away.

“Good luck and have fun.” He states and picks a piece of fuzz off my shirt.

“Thanks” I reply as I am pulling on a blue and white varsity jacket kind of thing that I may or not have ‘borrowed’ from wardrobe and sneak down stairs.

“So, Lou, do you know what Harry has planned for tonight?” I ask as we are driving to Harry’s.

“Yes and I am not going to tell you. But I better get a big ass thank you tomorrow because I practically set the whole thing up while Harry was stressing over what he was going to wear.” I laugh at Lou’s animated arm movements while he is talking to me.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Ni.”

“Thanks, Louis.” I shut his car door and enter the house.

“Close your eyes!” Harry yells before I could even make it a few paces down the hall. I stop in place and cover my hand over my eyes and feel Harry’s arms on my hips moments later. He begins walking us somewhere.

“Where are we going?” I ask.

“Be patient.” He laughs and slaps my bottom. 

We finally come to a stop. “I want you to go into this room and have a seat. You can open your eyes once you are in the room” He says and then leads me into the room and I hear the door close behind me. I open my eyes and take in my surroundings. I am in his office. I walk over to the desk and take a seat. I immediately notice a famed picture right next to the office phone. It is of the two of us. A picture that we took by ourselves the night we celebrated our one month anniversary. He set up his camera on a tripod and set the timer. We must have taken like five or six photos but the one he has framed is the one we liked the best. My heart melts and I trace my fingers over the glass.

About ten minutes later I hear a knock on the door. I smile and walk over to open it. Harry is standing there smiling at me, looking as beautiful as ever. He pulls a bouquet of flowers out from behind his back and hands them over to me. I gladly accept them. 

“I’m picking you up for our date” He says and I chuckle at his cuteness. He had me in the office waiting to be picked up for our date. He knocked on the door like he would if it was a real date. This was starting out perfect and so I played along.

“Would you like to come in? I’d like to put these flowers in some water.” He smiled at my response.

“Thank you.” He steps over the threshold and into the office. I close the door behind him and walk over to the desk and put the flowers down and walk back over to him.

“Ready” I state and he holds out his arm for me to take. 

“You look so amazing tonight, Niall” He says sweetly and places a kiss on my temple.

“Thank you, Harry. You look very handsome.” We walk arm and arm out of the office and down the hall towards the living room and once we reach the dining room he stops us.

We are standing at the entrance of the dining room and I take in the beautifully decorated table. There is a white lace table cloth; a large candelabra in the center with small and soft romantic flames coming off each candle. The food is already on the table but is covered in fancy silver dome lids.

“Reservation for Styles” He says to no one. I look up at him and he smirks. He lets go of my arm and then stands in front of me with a few feet of distance.

“Yes, Mr. Styles. Your table is ready. Please follow me.” I am slightly laughing at this point. He returns to my side and places his hand on the small of my back and leads me to the table. 

“You’re so silly” I quietly laugh out. He smiles in return.

“May I take your jacket, sir” I can tell he is back in maître d mode.

“Why yes, thank you.” I reply and turn my back so he can help me off with my coat. He takes his and mine and hangs them on a coat hanger in the corner of the room. He comes back over and pulls out my chair. I take a seat and he helps push my chair in towards the table. He kisses the top of my head gently and then takes his seat opposite me.

“Harry, this is so perfect already, babe. Thank you so much.” 

“I’m glad you like it so far.” He smiles. “Shall we eat?” I nod and we remove the lids from our plates. My eyes light up seeing the culinary masterpiece in front of me.

“This smells amazing Harry. Did you make it?” I stated as I looked at the roasted chicken breast with what appeared to be some sort of chutney on top. It came with asparagus and jasmine rice. There was a small salad off to the side on a separate plate and a dinner roll next to it.

“Yes. I’m quite the chef, if you didn’t know” I smiled at him and then picked up the champagne glass, already filled with liquid.

“Let’s make a toast” He raises his glass and I begin to speak.

“To us and our amazing relationship. We’ve made it past so much already and I can’t wait to see what the future holds.” He nods and we both take a sip. I smile and he knows what the smile is for.

“No beer?” I joke. He laughs along with me and we begin to enjoy the beautifully prepared meal.

Once we have both finished he stands up and takes our plates away. He comes back into the room and is holding our deserts. He places the sweet in front of me and then takes his seat.

“I hope you like it.” He states and I smile.

“I love tiramisu!” I beam and take a bite.

We have finally finished our full meal and he helps me put my coat back on. He says goodbye to the non-existent hostess and we walk towards the patio doors.

“Where are we going now?” I ask.

“Thought we could do a little dancing.” I give him a slight disapproving look because I can’t dance. He squeezes his hand on my hip and leads me out into the chilled December night air. He stands me in one place on the large deck in the back of his house and then goes over to flip some sort of switch. A second later the deck has sparkling white lights all around it and into the trees near us. Music starts to softly play and he takes me into his arms. We move lovingly to the slow melodies playing all around us.

This is by far the most romantic thing I have ever been witness to. I can tell the effort that went into putting this together and then smile knowing what Louis was talking about regarding him have to set most of it up while Harry figured out what he was going to wear.

We stayed impossibly close through about four songs. By that time it was getting a little too cold to remain outside. He turned off the lights and music and walked me back inside.

“Where to?” I ask.

“Thought we’d go to the movies” he replies leading me to the sofa. “These are the best seats” He chuckles and I laugh and place a kiss on his cheek. I see the guitar out of the corner of my eye. We sit and he reaches for the remote.

“Baby” I say and he looks at me. “Would you mind if we skipped the movies tonight. I kind of want to take you somewhere.” I say playing along with his whole theme. His lips turn up producing his dimples.

“Sure” We stand up from sofa and I take him into the den and have him sit on the couch.

“I hear this place has live music.” I say with a smirk and walk out to the living room to grab a guitar. I return to the den to see Harry smiling with excitement and anticipation. I sit on the coffee table in front of him. He sits forward and places his elbows on his knees and rests his chin on his hands, waiting for me to begin.

“This is for you baby. I love you” I say before the first chord is strummed. 

“In the morning when I wake and the sun is coming through. Oh you fill my lungs with sweetness and you fill my head with you. Shall I write it in a letter, shall I try to get it down. Oh you fill my head with pieces of a song I can’t get out. Can I be close to you……….”

I see the tears building in his eyes as he is watching me. I sing every lyric for him and my eyes never leave his. I continue on with the song as a tear rolls off his cheek; disappearing onto the floor. 

“……Oh the whole world it is sleeping, but my world is you. Can I be close to you……”

He places his hands on my knees as I hit the instrumental section of the song. I mouth that I love him and he smiles back and brushes a tear from his face. Once the song it finished I immediately place my guitar down and place myself directly on top of his lap. I wrap my legs around him and hold his face in my hands and I am so overcome with love in that moment that I let a few tears fall before pressing my lips to his. His arms are wrapped around me a second later.

“That was beautiful, Ni. Thank you so much. I love you.”

“I love you too, Harry.” I hold him close and bury my head into his neck and place soft kisses just below his ear. I hear a soft, almost inaudible, moan come from his closed lips.

“Ni, it’s getting late. I think I should get you home.” He smirks and I know we are now back into the ‘date’.” 

He walks me back to the office door and he is pretending to have the awkward first date drop off moment. He looks at his feet and the shyly back up to me. This really is the most amazing thing ever.

“I had a lovely time tonight, Harry. Thank you.”

“Do you think I could see you again?” He asks and I hold onto his upper arm.

“I would like that.” I say and lean in and place a kiss on his cheek. I pull away slowly and our noses are millimeters apart. We both lean in and share a gentle and short kiss.

“Goodnight, Harry” I say and open the door to the office and walk in. 

“Goodnight, Niall” he says and I close the door. I still have my hand on the knob and am leaning my back and head against the door, waiting. A knock comes after a minute or so. I smile widely and turn to reopen the door.

“Harry, did you forget something?” I dramatically say. He has a mischievous look in his eyes and a devilish grin on his face.

“Yes. This.” He says and rapidly snakes his arms around the top of my thighs and I instinctively jump into his arms and hook my legs together around his back. The next second our lips are pressed together firmly. He begins to head in the direction of his room.

By the time we are finished fulfilling our desires, it is already four in the morning. Harry is lying on his back and I am on my side with my head resting on his chest. I have my right hand placed over his chest, loving the feeling of his chest rising and falling with each breath. I am filled with sublime happiness and I don’t ever think the feeling will depart nor would I want it to. 

He places his hand over mine and begins mindlessly running the tip of his finger across a ring that has been on my middle finger since I was about fourteen. There is nothing special about this ring. It’s not a family heirloom, it wasn’t given to me by someone and it really hasn’t held much value. I bought it in a shop in downtown Mullingar simply because I liked the design. It was a silver band made up of celtic knots. I get this feeling in my chest and I want Harry to have it. I want to give Harry this ring thereby exponentially increasing the emotional value of it.

I push myself up and sit somewhat on my hip with my legs bent to the right of my body. Harry silently questions my sudden change in position. He sits himself up and pushes his body back so that he is resting on the headboard. He watches as I pull the ring off of my finger.

“I’d like you to have this, Harry” I take his right hand and slip the ring on his middle finger. I can tell it’s slightly loose on his long slim finger but it appears that it won’t fall off because his middle knuckle will prevent it.

“Niall” he breaths out softly. “You’ve never taken this off, for as long as I have known you. It must really mean something to you. I can’t take it.” I explain that it really doesn’t but I want it to and the way of making it special is by giving it to him.

“I love you so much Harry and not that it is a promise ring or anything but just know that I do promise to always love you and I know I want you, us, this whole thing for the rest of my life.” He sits himself up and pulls me with care onto his body.

“Thank you, Niall. I love you too and I want the same thing.” We kiss passionately for a few minutes before having to get into the shower and getting me back to the contestants’ house.

“I’ll see you this afternoon, love. Try to get a few hours of sleep. Sorry I kept you up all night.” Harry says before I exit his car.

“It was all worth it.” I smirk. “That really was the best night and morning ever, Harry. Thank you so much.” I kiss his lips.

“You’re welcome, baby. Thank you for the ring. I love it.” He kisses my nose.

“Bye babe.” With one final kiss on his lips, I exit the car and cut through the woods.

 

Euphoria is probably the best way to describe how I am feeling right now. I may only be running off of two hours of sleep but even that can’t dampen my spirits. When I arrived back to the house this morning I did fall right to sleep with the tingling sensation, remnants of the past few hours’ activities, evident on my body.

I had to be out of bed, and ready for the day by nine. I told Zayn all of the wonderful things that Harry had set up for me but spared him the intimate details of the night. I certainly didn’t want to embarrass him and I think he was quite happy about that. I’m sure he knew a lot more went on than what I was telling him.

In the shower, I looked down at my hands. I noticed the slight indentation on my right middle finger; caused by wearing a ring there for four years without removing it. But I was happy that it now rested on the beautiful finger of my love.

All afternoon, while I was meant to be rehearsing, I couldn’t keep my mind or my eyes off of Harry and it appeared that he was having the same difficulty. Louis and Zayn would whisper things to us about dialing it back a bit and we would after their warning but five minutes later, like this inexplicable attraction, our eyes would travel back to each other.

After lunch I was on stage working on Right Next To You with Savaan and Harry. Susan, one of the producers, came up to Harry and whispered something into his ear. I continued singing but kept an eye on my boyfriend and his rapidly changing facial expression. It went from happy to sullen in about five seconds. He stood up and he and Susan walked out of the room.

By the time they returned, I was completed with my songs and was sitting in one of the chairs on the arena floor watching Zayn. Harry walked in with Susan following closely behind him. He didn’t even look at me and kept his distance. I knew whatever she had to say wasn’t anything good. 

The rest of rehearsals on Friday went as well as can be expected. I was confident with Right Next To You so I felt that I didn’t need to work on that one any longer. I wanted to focus the rest of my time on Better Man. I ran through it a few more times before my rehearsal time was up. I was confident for tomorrow night and hope all would go well.

Later that evening after we had returned to the house, I snuck out to the back garden to make a call to Harry and find out what Susan has spoken to him about. I looked around and once I was positive that no one was around, I placed my call.

“Hey baby” he answered.

“Hey.” There was silence for a few moments. “So, what did she say to you?”

“Well, I have about an hour before I have to go pick Cara up for another date if that gives you any idea of how the conversation went.” He sighed.

“It’s ok, babe. We were careless this afternoon. I just couldn’t help myself though. I am so deeply in love and last night was the most perfect night I have ever had and I just couldn’t take my eyes off of you. I’m sorry you have to deal with it though.”

“Awe, baby. That was so sweet. And it was the most perfect night for me too. I love so much Niall.”

“I love you too, Harry.” I reply and continue. “I’ll let you go get ready for your date. Just have some fun, yeah? Cara is a sweet girl and if anything I’m sure you and her will be great friends one day.”

“Thanks, babe. I love you and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Love you too. Bye, babe.”

“Bye baby” I walked back into the house and no one was the wiser.

“Ni I’m about to call Liam. Wanna join?” Zayn asked as I was just getting out of the shower.

“Absolutely! I’ll be right out” I responded back and once I was dressed I sat next to Zayn on his bed and we called Liam and put him on speaker.

“Hello”

“Liam!” We both yelled.

“Boys!” He responded cheerfully. “You alright?”

“Yeah. We’re good. We miss you though.” Zayn stated.

“I miss you guys, too. You aren’t giving Harry a hard time I hope.”

“Well I know I am!” I joked.

“Oh God, Niall! Really” Liam laughed and Zayn shoved me to the side. 

“I didn’t need to hear that, man!” Zayn chuckled out.

“Me either” Liam agreed. We all laughed for a few moments.

“Are you excited to come back here in a few days?” I asked.

“Yeah. I’ll be there on Tuesday. My bed better be made” He chuckled. “Have either of you talked to Ryan?”

“I was gonna call him after we got off the phone with you.” Zayn answered.

“I wonder what he has been up to?” I added.

“I guess we’ll find out in a few minutes.” I nod in agreement with Zayn’s statement.

“I gotta go but I’ll see you in a few days. Good luck tomorrow night. I’ll be watching.”

“Yeah, cause that didn’t sound creepy at all” I laughed and was joined by Zayn and Liam.

“You know what I mean, you idiot. Bye”

“Bye” Zyan and I said in unison and ended the call. We called Ryan after and spoke to him for a few minutes. We are really looking forward to seeing him as well and he will be here on Tuesday like Liam. It will be nice to have all four of us back in the same room.

Saturday morning was spent sleeping in and I loved it. We didn’t have to be to dress rehearsals until one this afternoon and it was about eleven. I finally decided to get up and sneak outback to make a call to Harry. I just really needed to hear his voice and find out how his ‘date’ went.

“Hello my love” He answered. I smiled.

“Hello my darling.” I replied. “I miss you and wanted to hear your voice.”

“I miss you too babe but we will see each other in a couple hours.”

“I know. So how was your date?” I stated and slightly chuckled after.

“We had fun. And I think you were right. I think Cara and I will be great friends and I can’t wait until she knows you as my boyfriend. I think the two of you will get along really well.”

“I think so too. She is very sweet and seems really genuine. I don’t have any competition do I?” Harry began to laugh a little.

“Of course not, babe. There is only you. There will ever only be you.”

“Thanks babe and ditto!” I replied. “I have to go wake Zayn up now but I’ll see you in a little bit. I love you, Harry.”

“Ok. I love you too, baby. See you soon. Bye.”

“Bye.”

Once at Wembley, we ran through the show and did a few preparations and adjustments to it. About an hour before the show was to go live, some of the show producers gathered us five remaining contestants in one of the smaller holding rooms to talk to us about the next few days. 

Remaining was, of course, myself and Zayn; Carmen Lang, a thirty year old woman, the only act left being mentored by Cheryl Cole and finally Simon had two girls remaining; sixteen year old Amy White and twenty one year old Hannah Leigh. The mentors also joined us in the room. Susan, the producer that I don’t really care for, began to speak.

“So tomorrow, as I am sure your mentors have told you, the bottom two acts will have to perform a song for the judges, one that you have done in the past. The judges will then make the decision on who is sent home.” We all nodded in understanding. Rich then begins to talk. 

“Next week will be big. It’s obviously the finals and the four of you that make it will get to go home for a few hours and visit the town or city in which you were raised. We will also be setting up a small performance for the fans. You each will be able to sing a couple songs in your hometown. Your mentor will accompany you. We obviously won’t know the schedule of that until we know which four of you will be going to the finals.”

Susan chimes in again. 

“On Tuesday, all of the eliminated contestants will return to begin rehearsals for the group performance on Saturday night. Also on Saturday night, one of the top four will be eliminated and won’t go on to the live shows on Sunday night. On a positive note, the top four will be, in addition to performing a song of your own choosing, performing with a famous musician. Your mentors already know of the artists but we won’t be announcing who it will be obviously until we have the top four chosen. Well, I think that about sums it up. Anything to add Richard?”

“No. I think that covers it. I hope each of you do your best and have fun out there. Good luck!” Rich lastly states and we are all dismissed.

I sang Right Next To You first and I think that I did really well. I had a lot of energy and the crowd really seemed to be into it. I made great use of the stage. I didn’t dance. I had the X-Factor dancers for that. But overall I was very happy with my performance.

Zayn did his dance club song first as well. He sang Without You by David Guetta featuring Usher. He did absolutely perfect. Like if anyone was trying to look for a flaw, none would be found. I have no doubt in my mind that Zayn will be in the finals and hopefully I’ll be right there with him.

Staging for my next song, Better Man, was much simpler. It was similar to when I sang More Than Words. However I was to be standing on a platform. When it was time I walked on the stage and stepped up onto the clear platform, about three feet off the ground, and took my spot in the middle. I made sure that my guitar felt right and took a few deep breaths. Dermot announced me and the spot lights directly shone on me. I could see the light smoke begin to form on the floor around me. I half smiled into the cameras, that earned massive cheers from the girls in the audience and I began to play.

“There was a time, I had nothing to give. I needed shelter from the storm I was in. When it all got to heavy, you carried my weight. So I wanna hold you and I wanna say……That you, you’re all that I need. For you, I’d give my soul to keep . You see me, you love, just the way I am. I said for you, I am a better man. I said you are the reason, for everything I do. I’d be lost, so lost without you.”

I continued on with the song trying my hardest to look at the audience and the other judges but my eyes always went right back to Harry and he was looking at my eyes the entire time. Once I was finished I stepped down and spoke with Dermot for a second and then got the feedback from the judges and luckily all was great. I waved to the audience as I exited the stage.

We were all hyped after the show. There was so much energy in the crowd tonight and I think we all wanted to stay on that high. No one wanted to think about two people being in the bottom and having to sing for the judges to stay. In all of the commotion, Harry and I were able to sneak away.

I found myself in the old dressing room waiting for Harry to arrive and it was only about two minutes later when he did.

I was sitting on the couch, watching the door open and he slowly enters and checks out into the hallway once more before he closes and locks the door. I stand up from the couch and just the look of him makes me want nothing more than to touch him and have his body on mine. 

He smiles at me and starts his walk across the room to get to where I am. I have no other thoughts right now but how much I want him and blame it on the excitement of tonight or blame it on the fact that I am an eighteen year old with an extremely hot boyfriend and a sex drive through the roof but I, without a second thought, grab the hem of my shirt and pull it from my body.

Harry freezes in his tracks about five feet from me. I toe off my shoes and as I am closing the distance between us, I start undoing the button and zipper of my jeans. He is shocked and wide eyed but at the same time he is looking me up and down and biting on his lip. 

When I finally reach him, my pants are on the ground and I step out of them. I immediately attack the button on his shirt.

“Ni…jesus Ni, what are….are you doing?” He stutters out while his breathing increases and his hands grip my hips.

“I want you so much right now, Harry. I need you, baby. Please.” I respond softly in his ear while my fingers have undone the last button on his shirt. I slide it off his shoulders and it falls to the floor. He hasn’t responded and his eyes are clouding over and his fingers are pressing firmly into my waist. I know I’m fully aroused and I look down to see if he is and yes, he is ready. I tuck my fingers into the top of his pants and pull him with me over to the couch. He moans along the way. 

I sit down and face him. His waist is eye level with me and I undo his belt while biting my lip and looking him directly in the eyes. I undo the button and slide the zipper down. I can see him shifting his feet and taking his shoes off. The pants drop and in front of me is his very erect member shielded by his tight briefs. 

I slide his underwear off of him not wanting to waist anytime because I know at this point time is of the essence. I wrap my hand around him and immediately take him in my mouth. His hands grip onto my shoulders and I know he is trying his hardest not to thrust into me. I continue this for a few minutes all the while hearing his rapid breathing and muffled moans.

I remove myself from him and lie down on the couch. I pull his hips down and move him so he is lying right between my knees. He went to slick his fingers and I stopped him.

“I’m prepped already baby it hasn’t even been two days since our last time. Our date. Please we don’t have much time Harry and I need you so badly, babe. Please.” I push my lips on his and he softly grunts and pushes himself in.

This is rushed, hurried, sloppy and driven by pure lust and I am loving every second of it; Harry is too judging from the sounds he is making and the way he is calling out my name.

Once finished, with no time for a gentle cuddle after, we both quickly clean up in the bathroom and put our clothing back on. We straiten our appearance and our hair and exit the dressing room. From me entering the dressing room first, to me leaving the dressing room five minutes after Harry, the whole encounter took about twenty five minutes.

Later that night while I am laying in bed my phone begins to buzz. I answer it quickly so not to disturb Zayn. I smile at the message.

To: Niall

You were amazing tonight, baby! And your singing wasn’t half bad, either!! ;)

I stifle a laugh.

To: Hxx

Haha. Very funny Mr. Styles. I don’t know what came over me. I just needed you right then and there.

To: Niall

Well we need to figure out what did that to you cause I wouldn’t mind that happening again!

To: Hxx

Me either, babe. Goodnight! I love you so much. I’ll see you tomorrow. xx

To: Niall

I love you too, baby. Goodnight! xx

A half hour later I was asleep.

It was just about a half hour before show time and all five of us were in a huddle wishing each other good luck. Once the show had begun it was basically out of our hands and into the viewer’s and then the judges.

When they called my name first I jumped, screamed and hugged Zayn and Harry. Hannah Leigh, one of Simon’s girls was then called and the last person to be safe was, thankfully Zayn. Carmen Lang, the last of Cheryl’s over twenty eights and Amy White, one of Simon’s girls were the bottom two.

After the girls sang the judges decided on keeping Carmen Lang. It was a sad moment because Amy was such a sweet person and she was really talented. 

Backstage the atmosphere was like a library compared to the way we all were last night. We wanted to celebrate but also wanted to be respectful of Amy and her feelings. We each spent a little time with her before he had to depart. Zayn and I were talking when I felt my phone buzz in my pocket.

To: Niall

Again?!?! ;)

I smirked.

“Oh God, Niall. I know that smirk. You two are like rabbits. I’m going to find Louis. He is the only person I can talk with about how the two of you are revoltingly fluffly and lovey.” I laugh.

“See you back at the house, Zayn” I say with a smile as he walks away.

“Yeah, yeah” He says and waves his hand like he is brushing me off like he doesn’t want to hear anymore. I laugh harder because it is quite funny.

To: Hxx

Absolutely!

I watch as Harry leaves the area we are all in. I wait around for about five minutes and then sneak away and head off in the direction of the dressing room. In about five minutes I and standing in front of the door. I open it and look into the hallway as I enter making sure no one is in sight. I close and lock the door with a huge smile on my face. I begin to undo the button on my shirt and turn around.

“Are you ready, ba-………. 

 

I immediately grab hold of my shirt and pull it together. I just stand there. I can’t move and I have apparently become mute as well. I see Harry standing there looking at me with so much sorrow filled in his eyes. I know how badly he must be feeling right now. I finally muster up the courage to speak.

“Susan” And that is it. That is the only word I can get out of my mouth because she is standing right next to Harry and has her icy stare directed right at me. She leaves Harry’s side and with her finger, points at me and motions for me to move over next to him. I certainly don’t argue and do as I am told. 

She stands in front of us about ten feet away. I can tell that she is mulling over her words to get them right. I can’t really take my eyes off of her but I will myself to so that I can look up at Harry. He looks back at me. I mouth that I am sorry and he shakes his head softly. He slightly smiles with his eyes and scoots just a little bit closer so that our arms are grazing. I know this is his way of comforting me and I half smile in return. We hear Susan clear her throat and we immediately turn our attention back to her.

“I find it quite amusing that you don’t think I suspected anything; that you don’t think any of us producers suspected anything. Harry you made it quite obvious that you had feelings for him in the beginning but we thought we had taken care of the problem. But then I started to notice the way you two would look at each other and I began to pay closer attention to what was going on. You both were very good at hiding for a while but last night I was keeping an eye on both of you and you disappeared for like a half hour. So I watched tonight. I saw you leave and I followed.” She said pointing to Harry, “And what do you know. Niall, you come into this old abandoned room and start to strip. Now you can either tell me the whole story or you both will have consequences to deal with and they won’t be good.” She finally stopped talking. 

Harry and I stayed silent for a couple minutes but could see her getting angrier each moment that passed that we were not talking. Harry slowly wrapped his arm around my back and rested his hand on my hip.

“Niall and I have been dating since he got to London for the live shows.” He lied. We told Liam, Zayn and Rich that we became friends after judges’ houses and started dating the day after the ordeal with Jamie, which was a half lie because we started communicating basically right after my audition. Now we are telling Susan that we didn’t start dating until I came to London in October. She was looking at us, waiting for more information. Harry continued.

“We have been sneaking around, obviously, to spend time together and yes, last night we did sneak off to be together and that was our intent tonight as well.” He finished because what else could he really say without going into specific detail. We waited for her to gather her thoughts.

“This relationship is unacceptable but I am gathering that this won’t stop. I can’t very well kick you off the show right now because you made it to the finals and I can’t very well terminate your contract, Harry because again, it is the finals and that would be quite suspicious. So, as much as it upsets me to say, nothing can be done about this right now. I’ll make sure this situation is fixed, however. You have put the integrity of this show at risk.”

“How?” Harry snapped. I rubbed his back subtly to calm him.

“You do realize that if this gets out everyone will say that the only reason Niall even made it to live shows is because of your attraction to him. They will say the only reason he made it to finals is because you were dating him. Who knows if that isn’t the truth.”

“It’s not!” Harry stated firmly. “Niall’s unbelievable talent got him to live shows and his consistent near perfect performances kept him in this competition. You know that. You have seen all of his auditions and the performance at judges’ houses. You know he deserved a spot. You even told me that I made the right decisions on whom to bring with me to live shows. You know he deserves to be here. Plus, I didn’t keep him around this whole time, the viewers have. His thousands and thousands of fans have.”

“Well just know that something will be drafted up for you both to sign that will forbid you from speaking about you dating while on the show and we will be speaking with your management, Harry.” She finished and hastily left the room. 

It was like a tornado whirling around in my head. It was filled with jumbled up thoughts and pictures and lyrics and moments of everything that had happened since May. It’s too much for me to think about and I want it all to stop. I plop down on the couch and Harry is right next to me not a moment later.

We just sat there in silence both coming to the realization that we had finally been caught by a person who would be angered by our relationship. Harry placed a hand on my knee and I rested my head on his shoulder.

“This won’t break us, will it?” I softly ask after a few minutes of silence.

“Absolutely not, Niall” He speaks and takes hold of either side of my face. “I love you and we have fought to keep this thing going and I am not going to lose you.” He placed a kiss on my forehead and we leaned back onto the couch. I rested my head onto his chest and began tracing my fingers over the patters on his shirt.

“Good because I don’t want to let you go.” I whisper and then feel a kiss on the top of my head.

Monday when we got to the X-Factor studious for rehearsals, I took notice that Susan was there. I knew it was just to watch Harry and me, so because of that, we kept our distance. It was sad but at the same time it was the norm. Sad because we had no idea what she had planned and normal because we have always had to be mindful of our proximity to each other. But I guess with her knowing, it means we didn’t do a very good job of it. I knew I needed to push it all out of my mind and focus on this week. 

We had to pick a song for us to sing and I already had one in mind. It was just the song to show Harry that no matter what is thrown at us, I’m always thinking of him. I always wan’t to be with him and even though no one else in the world will know the meaning of this song, he will and that is all that matters.

“So, Niall. What song do you want to sing?”

“Bloom by The Paper Kites” I respond and I see his eyes slightly gloss over at the mention of that song. The song that I sang for him the night of our date. The song that is now ‘our song’.

“Good” he replies softly and we smile at one another. “What about you, Zayn?”

“I was thinking about an Usher song. Maybe ‘My Boo’, the song he did with Alicia Keys or ‘You Got It Bad’.” Harry smirked.

“Why don’t you save the Usher song for when you are singing with him next Saturday night.” Harry is full on smiling and Zayn’s mouth has dropped. I start to smile due to Zayn’s reaction.

“Are you joking? You’re joking. Oh my God, are you for real? I’m singing with Usher. Usher.”

“Yes, Zayn. Usher” Zayn jumps up off of his chair and jumps excitedly around the room and then makes a bee line for Harry and gives him a big hug and then turns his attention on me and practically launches himself onto my lap and bear hugs me around the neck. He releases me and returns to his seat.

“I’m sorry, Harry. You were saying?” He states with his face returned to one of calm and Harry and I laugh. I look at Harry and raise an eyebrow. He just stares blankly back at me.

“Well?” I question.

“Well, what?” He jokes.

“Harry! Who will I be singing with?” 

“Well, I figured there isn’t enough ginger on this show..” He started and I knew exactly who he was referencing. My eyes lit up with excitement.

“So how about Ed Sheeran?”

“That’s so amazing, Harry. Oh my God. I am going to be singing with Ed Sheeran. Just….wow!” I wanted nothing more than to jump onto Harry as Zayn did but I knew I couldn’t. We knew I couldn’t. So I just hugged Zayn instead. 

Towards the end of the day Susan, Rich and a couple other producers gather us for a meeting to discuss the things for this week. Rich began.

“So we have organized the days on which each of you will be going home. Simon will accompany Hannah to her hometown of Norwich on Wednesday. Cheryl will go with Carmen to Newcastle on Thursday. Harry will go to Bradford with Zayn on Thursday and Niall, since the weather seems to be good and is forecasted to be good for the remainder of the week, it will be fine for you to fly back to Ireland on Thursday.”

“But I’ll be with Zayn on Thursday in Bradford. Fly us out on Wednesday or Friday” Harry stated. Susan cut in before Rich could respond.

“We can’t have him flying to Ireland on Friday because it is too close to the show and Wednesday is when Ed will be here to rehearse. So we have decided that Louis will go with Niall on Thursday.”

“But I am Niall’s mentor. Not Louis. We can go to Bradford on Wednesday and then Ireland on Thursday.” Harry retorts.

“No. We have already decided and logistically things have already been put into place. Louis will go to Ireland with Niall since he no longer has any acts in this competition and you will go with Zayn to Bradford. Besides, Louis is Irish so I am sure he wouldn’t mind a trip up there himself.” She spoke her peace and that was all on the subject. Harry and I knew that it must have been her idea to set things up this way. But we had no choice but to go along with it.

“Sounds good” Harry added and smiled at Susan. I could tell it was a fake smile and I think Susan could tell as well because she knew exactly what she was doing. Rich looked at me with apologetic eyes and I shrugged in response and gave him a half smile. The rest of the day was spent rehearsing the songs that we would sing by ourselves. 

Harry and I texted into the evening about how wretched Susan is and how it doesn’t matter that she split us up for the trips home. We will still remain as boyfriends and no one can come between that. 

Zayn and I are excited that Liam will be arriving tomorrow so that has my mood lifted quite a bit. I told Zayn about everything that happened when Susan caught us and so he knows exactly why Susan had arranged for me to go to Ireland with Louis. He feels bad for us and is being a very supportive friend.

My nose started to tickle. I am still very groggy but I can’t get the tickling feeling away from my face. I rub my nose and try to go back to sleep. The tickle starts back up again. I groan and swat at my face. I think I hear a faint giggle but I am so tired I can’t be sure. There it is again. I swat at it for a third time. Now I am getting annoyed. I begin to flutter my groggy eyes open only to be scared half out of my mind.

“Aaaahhhh!” I scream and basically fall off my bed and onto the floor. That’s when the laughter begins. I prop myself up on my elbows and look on my bed and see that Liam is laying there with a feather in his hand. 

“You ass!” I yell and pick up anything within my reach to throw at him. It just so happened to be a shoe. He ducked and it hit the wall. Zayn is laughing.

“How did he wake you up?” I ask

“He plugged my nose so I couldn’t breathe and then when I started breathing out my mouth, he covered it with his hand.” I started laughing. I wish I would have been awake to see that. Liam is now laughing at the both of us.

We all stand up and are in group hug within seconds. We hold tight to one another and have our reunion.

“Hey! I can’t believe you would start without me!” We turn our attention to the door.

“Ryan!” We yell and tackle him to the ground. After a few more minutes of hugging and greeting each other, we spend the next hour talking and catching up. We are at Wembley by ten to begin rehearsing the group performance.

Wednesday I was a nervous wreck. I was going to be singing with Ed Sheeran today. Zayn had already left about an hour ago to go to the location that Usher would be for them to start rehearsing. Savaan went with Zayn and Harry would go with me. Harry used the excuse that Ed and him were such great friends and that it would be best if he went with me instead of Zayn, which I guess really does make sense even if you take out the fact that Harry and I are dating. However, Harry would go over to the studio to check in on Zayn after about two hours with me and Ed. He has to split his time equally between Zayn and I and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Nice to see you again.” Ed states to me as Harry and I enter the studio. He held out his hand to shake mine. I accept it.

“Nice to see you too. It’s such an honor to be singing with you, really. I’m a huge fan of your music.” I reply.

“Thanks, mate. Shall we get started?”

“Yeah.” I replied and we all sat down and decided on what song we would duet on. 

After a few minutes discussion and me singing a few of his songs, well a few lines from his songs for him and Harry to get an idea of which song I sound best on, we decided on A-Team. We figured out an arrangement for it and which parts I’ll sing, which parts he’ll sing and which parts we will harmonize. We then began the rehearsing. Harry stayed for about an hour once we began to rehearse but then had to leave to check on Zayn.

The rest of Wednesday went by relatively quickly. Zayn and I lay in bed that night just reliving the moments from today and how amazing it was that we both got to sing with people we very much admire and look up to in the music industry. 

Thursday we had a few rehearsals in the morning but by eleven, Zayn and Harry and Louis Walsh and I had to depart. Harry and I texted all morning saying our silent goodbyes. It bothered me that I wouldn’t be able to hold him before he left with Zayn to go to Bradford and I am sure he felt the same way. It would be difficult but we would see each other tomorrow anyway, so we were ok.

By one, I was on a plane to Ireland.

Once we landed in Dublin the airport was packed with screaming fans waiting on my arrival. I felt overwhelmed by all the support and couldn’t thank everyone enough. With the help of many security team members, Louis and I made it through the droves of fans and into the awaiting vehicle and drive to Mullingar. The cameras were rolling the entire time.

Louis was nice company. He was able to talk about where he grew up and other things regarding Ireland which was nice because he appreciated this country as much as I did. 

We pulled up in front of my home and the garden was filled with people. The streets around my home were as well. I got out of the van and waved to all of the people and signed a few autographs as I made my way up the drive.

My parents, brother and friends were all in side waiting for me. I ran to them and hugged them all. I had just recently seen my parents but it was nice to see them again. I hadn’t seen Greg or my friends since I left at the beginning of October so it was a very happy reunion.

We stayed in my house for an hour or so and the cameras captured moments between my parents and me, my brother and me and finally moments of me joking and horsing around with my friends. This was an amazing day but I really wish Harry was here to share in this moment with me.

It was finally time to head down to the town square where a stage had been set up for me to perform on. I was taken back by how many people showed up. It was absolutely amazing. I took a picture of myself with all of the people in the background. I did that because, one, this is my hometown and all of these people came out to show support for me and two, I wanted to send it to Harry, which I did. I sent the picture and a quick text saying that I wished he was here. I received a reply within minutes and he texted that I looked very handsome and that he is so proud of me and wishes he could be in Ireland with me too.

I said hello to everyone in the square after Louis introduced me. The crowd roared and chanted my name and I was speechless. I ended up singing Right Next To You and The Way You Look Tonight. The mini show was over in just about an hour. Louis and I needed to fly back to London tonight so I said goodbye to my parents, brother and friends and headed back towards Dublin and to the airport.

Friday morning Zayn and I were up early talking about how everything went yesterday and we were both still excited from it all. We had to get ready because there would be a press conference this morning. The mentors with their contestants would be interviewed about expectations for tomorrow night and so on. We woke Liam and Ryan up in a rather humorous fashion, tickling their feet with feathers, and we said goodbye.

At the press conference we were asked what each of us thought about our chances and who we would want to see win, not including our self obviously. Each mentor spoke about their contestants. Harry spoke some amazingly generous words regard both Zayn and I. He was sitting in between us and our hands were joined together underneath the table so that no one would be able to see. It was another sweet and unnoticeable moment for Harry and me.

On Saturday morning we had one more run through with all of the contestants and more rehearsals with the musician we were to duet with and everyone did a final run through of the show. My nerves were at an all time high and so were Zayn’s. We sat together in a corner and comforted each other with silence. Knowing we were both in the same position and feeling the same emotions relaxed us both. 

The show began and we all had the group performance first. It went really well and it was great being up on the stage with Zayn, Liam and Ryan again. We all had a lot of fun. 

We each sang our individual songs and the telephone lines opened for people to start calling in to vote. 

Next up was each of our duets. Carmen, who was singing with Christina Aguilera, went first. Next was Zayn with Usher. Third was Hannah with Katy Perry and finally it was my turn to sing with Ed. 

I was on the stage first and sang the first verse and the chorus. I then introduced Ed Sheeran to the audience and they went wild. He walked out with his guitar and started to sing the second verse. We joined together on the second chorus and took turns singing solo and also together through the rest of the song. 

After we had finished Dermot talked to us and asked Ed what he thought of me. Ed stated that he had been a fan of mine since he saw me at judges’ houses when he helped out Harry and that everyone should vote for me. I was a smiling idiot at that point. It was such an incredible feeling and I couldn’t help but to look directly at Harry and smile. He smiled back.

It was the end of the show and the phone lines had closed. We were each brought onto the stage and stood next to our mentors. Harry stood right in between Zayn and me and we all had our arms around each other’s back.

“Whatever happens just know that I am so proud of the both of you.” Harry whispered to us and we looked at each other and smiled.

Dermot began calling out the name of the first person to go onto tomorrow’s live show.

 

I was sitting in Harry’s living room. Louis had just dropped me off. It was just about twelve thirty and the show ended a few hours ago.

Harry came walking back into the living room with two cups of tea in his hands. 

“Here baby” He held out my tea mug and I took it from his hands. I took a sip and then set it on the coffee table in front of the sofa. He took a sip of his and did the same thing. He pulled me into his lap and gently began rubbing my back.

“I’m so sorry Niall. You should have made it.” Harry stated solemnly.

“It’s ok, babe. I’m fine, really. I mean I obviously wanted to win but at least I made it as far as I did. I mean I came in forth out of thousands that auditioned. I think that is quite the accomplishment.”

“Yes, it is but I know how much it would have meant for you to win.” He kissed the top of my head.

“It would have been great but Zayn, Carmen and Hannah are amazing and anyone one of them would be perfect winners. Although, I am obviously cheering for Zayn.” I smiled and looked up at Harry. He placed a kiss on my lips.

We sat in silence for a few more minutes before Harry sighed. I cast my eyes upon his.

“What’s wrong, baby?” I ask.

“I don’t know. I guess I just keep playing Susan’s words tonight in my head. You don’t think she had something to do with you getting eliminated because of our relationship, do you?”

“Harry, I don’t think that is even possible. I just didn’t get the votes needed to stay.”

“I guess, but as soon as the show was over tonight she did say ‘I guess that is how things were suppose to work out’ or something to that effect. And last week when she caught us she said that she was going to fix the situation and stuff like that, remember.”

“Yea, I know. But there is no sense in dwelling on all of the possibilities now. What’s done is done and there is no changing it. I am happy and I will not think about what might have been or anything of that nature. I am very happy and will continue to pursue music.” I replied with a smile and placed a gentle kiss on the side of his neck.

“I can help you, you know. I can get you in front of my team and I am sure they would sign you.” I smiled at his offer.

“I know you could, baby and thank you. But I wanna do this on my own, I know you understand that.”

“I know. I just thought I would offer. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t?” He smirked.

“You would still be an amazing one.” I smiled in return and began to kiss his lips. The rest of the night was spent in each other’s arms, kissing, touching, loving and in a state of pure bliss.

Because it was the last day, I was able to remain in the contestants’ house until Monday, tomorrow, when the remaining of us moved out fully. 

I arrived back at the house and snuck in around five this morning. Tonight was the last show of the season and a winner would be announced. I lay in bed thinking about everything that has happened to me over the past eight months and although there were some bad parts that I wouldn’t want to live through again, it was mostly filled with good and I have accomplished more than I ever imagined that I could.

I remember walking out onto that stage in Dublin back in May and signing More Than This. I remember the first time Harry and I spoke. I remember the way he held me just to take our first picture together. I remember our first gentle touch, our first kiss, our first time, the first time we said those three words and our first date, inside his house. All of this made possible because I was finally brave enough to walk out on that stage in Croke park. I fell asleep thinking of all of those life changing things.

The stage was set and the three remaining contestants were getting ready back stage. I was sitting with Liam and Ryan in the audience just to the left of the judges’ table. The other contestants were around us as well. 

The show began with introductions of Zayn, Carmen and Hannah. The three of them then sang with The Script. That was an amazing performance and I was slightly jealous but happy for them all the same. It came time for their individual performances. 

Carmen was absolutely beautiful and flawless. Hannah did an outstanding job as well. As soon as Zayn took the stage I jumped up and started cheering for him, with Liam and Ryan doing the same thing. His performance was perfect and he looked so happy up there. I crossed my fingers and hoped that it would be his name they announced at the end of the show.

It was about an hour into the live show when the phone lines closed and the three of them and their mentors were up on the stage. They were to announce the final two. Dermot, after a slight dramatic pause called the first name.

“Carmen Lang!” She and Cheryl shared a joyous hug and then waited for the final name to be called. Zayn and Harry along with Hannah and Simon all came together in the front of the stage and waited for the last name to be called. 

Harry and Zayn held onto each other and I could see the nerves in Zayn’s eyes. I smiled at Harry when he looked at me in the audience. I knew there was no camera on me so I mouthed that I loved him and he smiled.

“The act with the fewest votes and has finished in third place is…….” Another dramatic pause made for tv. “Hannah Leigh.” He stated and Zayn and Harry hugged and jumped and were displaying their excitement that Zayn was still in the competition. I don’t think I have ever screamed so loud. I hugged Liam and Ryan. We were all thrilled for Zayn. 

Harry and Zayn released one another and Zayn went to hug Hannah. She really was the sweetest girl and I know she would do great things in music in the future. They showed her clip of her times spent on the X-Factor, from her first audition up to last night’s performances. They also did the same to me last night and I was trying my hardest to hold back the tears. It’s a great feeling to watch a majority of your moments all compiled into a thirty second video. 

The stage finally cleared and up next was Zayn and Carmen singing what would be their debut single if they won. There were two singles that were given to us at the beginning of the week. One for the girls and one for the boys. Zayn and I both learnt the song and if I’m being honest, it wasn’t really a song either of us would put out normally if we were doing it on our own but it was amazing just the thought of having your own song.

Carmen sang her single like she has sang everything else in this competition, beautifully and perfect. Zayn was second to go. He had a brilliant performance as well. 

It came time for them to announce the winner and Harry joined Zayn on stage while Cheryl stood with Carmen. All of us contestants were waiting in the wings. The winner would begin singing their song again and then when they were almost finished, all of us would be able to join them on the stage and begin the celebration.

“And the winner of the X-Factor is………….Carmen Lang!” Carmen began to cry and she hugged Cheryl. Zayn went up to her and they hugged for a minute or so. I am sure Zayn was congratulating her and wishing her all the best. Zayn then hugged Harry and his video played. Once that was complete both him and Harry walked off the stage to where we were standing. 

Liam, Ryan and I all pulled Zayn into one of our group hugs.

“You were amazing, Zayn. You should be very proud of yourself” I said and kissed the side of his head.

“Thanks, Niall. And I am. Carmen deserves this. She was perfect throughout the whole competition.” He replied and all of us agreed. 

We were still in our own little world when we felt someone making their way into our hug.

“I want in on this too!” Lou stated and we all laughed. 

“What about me?” Harry said trying to sound hurt and left out. I smiled and Lou and I parted and allowed Harry to squeeze in between us.

“I love you” Harry whispered in my ear.

“I love you, too.” I whispered back.

“Harry. Niall. Would you please come with me?” A voice said but both Harry and I would know that voice anywhere. We all pulled out from the hug and sure enough, Susan was standing there waiting for us to follow her.

“Anybody got any water to throw on her to watch her melt?” Lou said softly so that only we could hear. Harry, Liam, Zayn and I started to laugh at Louis’ joke. Ryan thought it was funny but he didn’t know everything that was going on so he obviously didn’t get the full meaning behind it.

Harry and I nodded and followed Susan down a corridor and into a small office. Once inside, she shut the door and sat behind the desk. Harry and I took the two chairs on the other side of the desk and sat down. Her hands were clasped together and resting on the large oak desk in front of her. 

“We are to be having a meeting tomorrow at the X-Factor studios to discuss how we will move forward with this little relationship of yours” She stated and motioned her finger between Harry and me.

“This isn’t a little relationship. We fell in love and plan on staying that way for the foreseeable future.” Harry chimed in and took hold of my hand and brought it to his lips and kissed the back of it. 

“Whatever.” She said and rolled her eyes. “We still are setting some ground rules so that this doesn’t get out and compromise the integrity of the show. We have talked with your management and they will be in attendance as well. You are to be there at two in the afternoon. You are both dismissed.” She finished and waved her hand in a dismissive manner. 

Harry and I stood from our chairs and walked out of the office, hand in hand. Once in the hallway we released from each other and made our way back to the others.

Sunday night I spent with Liam, Zayn and Ryan. We all stayed in our room and talked, messed about and just enjoyed each other’s company for the last time. None of us knew the next time we would see each other, so we wanted to make the most of our last night together.

In the morning, we said goodbye to Ryan first. Then there was just the three of us. We had bonded so much over the course of this show and I would now consider them my best friends. Zayn was next to go. We held him tight and said good bye. Liam was next. We said our goodbyes and I watched as his taxi drove away.

A car picked me up at one thirty and brought me over to the place where we were to have the meeting. It was kind of a hassle having to have all of my bags with me. I was flying back home tonight and needed to keep my luggage with me so that I would be able to leave from the meeting and go directly to the airport.

I was allowed to set my suitcases down behind the receptionist’s desk until the meeting was over. I walk through the lobby and down a long hallway to the conference room that the meeting was going to be held in.

I opened the door and saw Harry already in there. There was an open chair right next to him. He stood and pulled it out for me to sit in. I took the seat and he helped me push my chair in. He then placed a kiss on top of my head. Everyone in this room obviously knew about what was going on so there would be no reason to hide.

To the right of Harry were William and Charles. They were part of Harry’s management team. Also in the meeting was, of course, Susan and Richard and they were also joined by two other producers of the show; Mary and Allen.

I took notice of the two files on top of the desk but tried to ignore whatever may be inside of them. Harry and I held hands and waited for someone to speak.

“I am going to get right to the point.” Susan began. “Harry, you knew better than to let something like this happen. Yes, you have both said that nothing started until after judges’ houses, but the only people who really know the truth of that are the two of you and I doubt any of us will ever know if you are lying to us or not.” Harry and I remained silent. Susan continued.

“Harry, because of this incident, you will not be asked back next season as a judge. We certainly don’t want you to date any other contestants.” Harry rolled his eyes and scoffed.

“It’s not like we planned for this to happen. It just did. We fell for each other and even if I were to be a mentor again, I certainly wouldn’t date anyone else because Niall and I are extremely happy.” He interjected.

“Whatever. The point is that we can’t chance it. So that is what we have decided.” She replied.

“Fine with me.” He states and smiles at me. I feel bad. I don’t know if Harry wanted to mentor again and now because of this, he won’t even get the chance to.

“Anything else?” I ask, breaking my silence.

“Yes” Allen chimes in. He seemed just as angry about this whole thing as Susan. It appears that Rich and Mary may be the only understanding ones.

“You will both sign a non disclosure. You are not to speak about the relationship that you both had during the show and you are not to come out to the public for at least six months.” Allen said firmly.

“What?” Harry said angrily. “The show is over and if I want to come out to the public with my boyfriend, I should be able to.” I rubbed his knee to calm him down.

“Absolutely not!” Susan stated. “If you come out now it will be obvious that you two were dating on the show. As I have mentioned numerous times, we will not have anyone ruin the reputation of this show.”

“Harry” William said and Harry looked at his manager. “Charles and I have looked over the non disclosure and it is fair. I think you and Niall should sign it. It would be the right thing to do. We think it would be a fair compromise.” I could see the frustration in Harry’s eyes and he looked at me for reassurance. I squeezed his hand and nodded my head in agreement.

“I also want to add that when you do come out or whatever, you are not to tell anyone that there was anything remotely going on during the X-Factor. Your relationship or whatever didn’t develop until a few months after.” Allen said rudely and Mary began to talk and thus confirmed my thoughts that she was on mine and Harry’s side just like Rich.

“I am happy that you both found love and it is a sweet thing. I can see it. I’ve been seeing it. May I make a suggestion?” She kindly asks. Harry and I smile and nod our heads.

“Richard and I have though that it would be good for you two to be seen out with each other in a friendly manner. We suggest that you, Niall, go to a couple of Harry’s concerts. Or both of you go hang out in night clubs or bars or whatever friends would do. That way over the next six months there will be pictures of the two of you building a ‘friendship’. That way whenever you both decide to come out, it won’t be an out of the blue kind of thing.”

“We know that this is probably difficult on the both of you but your relationship was strong enough to keep it hidden for the past three months and I know that you will both be able to keep it that way for the next six. It’s clear how much you both love each other.” Richard added and Harry and I smiled at one another and then at Mary and Rich.

The non disclosures were handed over to us and we each took a pen in our hands. Harry signed his and I signed mine. The meeting was adjourned and everyone left the office, leaving me and Harry to discuss things.

“I’m sorry we have to hide us for longer, babe.” Harry said and rested his forehead on mine.

“It’s ok, Harry. I am perfectly fine with this arrangement. Like Rich said, we have been doing this already and another six months isn’t going to hurt us. I think we have become quite the professionals. Maybe we should be actors instead of singers.” I smirked and he placed a kiss on my lips.

“I’m sorry that you won’t be able to be a mentor anymore.”

“I don’t mind at all. I only planned on doing it this one season anyway. I want to begin working on a new album this coming spring and won’t have the time to devote to another few months of this.” He replied.

“Ok.” I looked at my watch and sighed. “I have to go, babe. I have to be to the airport in about an hour. I leave tonight, remember.”

“Of course I remember. But would you maybe wanna cancel your flight and stay with me in London for a few days?” he looked at me with pleading eyes.

“Harry you know we can’t be seen together.”

“Who said we had to leave my house?” He wiggled his eyebrows and chuckled. “You could get another flight on Wednesday. I have to leave for L.A. again on Wednesday for a couple weeks, you know. So that means we could spend the next day and a half together. Please.” He pouted and I smiled in response.

“Well who could say no to a face like that?”

I woke up in Harry’s arms on Wednesday morning. His flight to America left about a half hour after mine so we both had to be at the airport at the same time. We decided last night that we would drive over together. Louis was coming as well so it wouldn’t look as suspicious. 

Monday night and all day Tuesday were spent with Harry and I attached at the hip. We cooked together, ate together, showered together and filled most of the hours in bed getting our fill of one another. We knew we wouldn’t see each other for a couple weeks so we wanted to make the most of our last few hours together. We were both exhausted and slightly sore from the activities of the past day and a half but it was well worth it.

Louis arrived at one to pick us up. We loaded all of our luggage into the car and drove to the airport. 

Once we arrived, there were a few paparazzi waiting for any celebrity to make an appearance at Heathrow and they spotted Harry immediately. Louis and I stayed in the car for a minute or two. Harry and I didn’t want to start the public outings just yet so when Louis and I finally got out of the vehicle we stayed near one another. 

Of course all of the paps saw us next to each other and began shouting things about us dating and finding love on X-Factor and other things that just made us chuckle.

Harry was carrying his bags and his security was keeping a close eye on him. Louis and I walked a few steps behind him. We got close to security and the paps couldn’t obviously go through it so we stopped and allowed then to have a few more pictures.

“Where are you heading?” One said.

“I’m going home to Ireland.” I replied and Louis stated that he and Harry are on their way to America.

“Are you going to miss Louis, Niall? And what about you Louis? Are you going to miss Niall?”

“How long have you been dating?”

“Did Harry in fact set the two of you up?” Questions were coming from left and right. Louis put his arm around me and smiled.

“Actually, Niall and I were never dating. Like ever. We just became really good friends. That’s all.” Louis stated finally putting to rest the rumors. I nodded in agreement. We said goodbye to them all and went through security.

We reached the point in the airport where I had to go one way to my gate and they had to go to theirs. Knowing that Harry and I couldn’t properly say goodbye at the airport, we did so before we left his house. I hugged Louis and told him that I would see him in a few weeks.

Harry and I shared a quick hug. “I love you, baby” I whispered in to his ear and grazed my lips on his lobe. 

“I love you too, babe.” He replied in a whisper.

“Have a safe trip and call me when you get there” I said to him as I pulled away softly enough so that no one around could hear. He nodded and we parted ways.

Just before I turned off my phone as instructed by the pilot over the intercom, I received a text. I quickly read it.

To: Niall

Check your bag. I left a note in there for you. I love you, baby xx 

I smiled and shut my phone off. 

Once we were at our cruising altitude, I pulled my bag from under the seat in front of me and dug through it to locate the note Harry informed me about. I see a folded piece of paper with my name written in lovely script on the front of it.

My Love,

Words can’t express how much I love you. I am so thankful to have you in my life and to think about how this started and everything that we have been through so far is just amazing to me. 

I know that we have a long road ahead of us, hiding our relationship for the next six months but I just want you to know that I am willing to do whatever it takes to be with you. Even if we had to hide for the next year or two years I wouldn’t care because the end result is us, together, happy and in love.

You mean the world to me, Niall and I can’t wait until we get to see each other again. 

I love you with all my heart, baby. I hope you have a good flight and say hello to your parents and brother for me. I’ll miss you so much, babe. I’ll talk to you soon. xxx

With all my love, 

Harry

 

I hold the note to my chest and sigh in contentment. There is no one more perfect for me than Harry and I believe that we are truly meant for one another. He is my other half and I know that I would love to spend the rest of my life with him. 

Isn’t it funny that the fist guy that I ever had a crush on, I finally ended up with. The guy that I have liked and fantasized about since I was thirteen fell in love with me and I fell in love with him. It may have started as a crush for the both of us but it has developed into so much more. He is my soul mate, my best friend, my lover and my other half. 

Harry is my dream, come true.

 

EPILOGUE

“Are you ready, baby?” He asked. I smiled at Harry as we were sitting in the car. I leaned over and kissed his lips and was brought back to everything that has happened over the last six months.

As soon as Harry came back from L.A., I flew down to London to be with him. I decided that if I wanted to pursue my music, London would be the place to be. 

Liam and Zayn thought the same thing and we all decided to share a flat. Zayn was signed by a record label right away and Liam shortly after. It finally happened for me about a month into living in London. 

The five of us; Liam, Zayn, Louis, Harry and myself, would constantly hang out together. It was really nice to have them all around me. 

Harry and I hung out at his concerts and at the studio when either he was recording or I was writing and recording. He would come to a concert of the X-Factor tour occasionally. 

I flew out to Australia to see him perform and I think that was about the time that people started to pay attention to our building friendship.

We celebrated his birthday together. We went out to night clubs and sporting events and were, for the most part, inseparable. 

For the first three months we never touched while in public. But by the beginning of April we started holding on to each other longer when we hugged hello. We would touch one another’s shoulders or arms while talking. We would get closer to each other when we would whisper. Our knees and thighs would touch when sitting next to one another. We began to allow the world to see the way our eyes would gaze at each other for longer than what would be considered just friends.

People were beginning to ask questions but we would ignore them. We couldn’t confirm anything until the end of June.

He has spent time with my family in Ireland and I first met his family in January. Thankfully they all seemed to like and accept me. 

Over the past six months, Harry and I have had our arguments and fights and a day here or there where we ignore each other because of it but there is something about our attraction to one another that we can’t go for more than a day or two without talking. Our love is so deep that no matter the issue that comes up, regardless if it angers us, we work through it and are back in each other’s embrace not long after.

We both know what we might face when we come out to the public. Everyone already knows that I am gay but Harry hasn’t come out yet. I am sure that there will be some very disappointed fans and he may even lose some but despite all of that, he is still willing to do so.

Harry and I have a solid relationship built on love, trust and understanding. I know what he is thinking without even having to hear it from him and vice versa. I couldn’t think of a better person to call my boyfriend and be in love with and I am glad that we have finally reached this point, together.

I feel his fingertips graze my bottom lip. I smile and look into his eyes and place my lips on his.

“Yes, baby. I’m ready.” I hold his hand tight and see the door to the car being open. 

“I love you , Harry.”

“I love you too, Niall.” We kiss once more and step out of the car, hand in hand and onto the red carpet.


End file.
